Nice story. See my suggestions.Thanks again. Here is another text, a very interesting one IMO.
A man went to a barbershop to
takeget (AmE) a haircut, and to cut his beard, as usual.
He started talking to the barber. They talked about everything. Suddenly, they mentioned God. The barber said: "Man, I don't believe in God's existence.""Why did you say that?" - the man asked him.
simplysimple - all you need to do is to go out on the street and realize that God does not exist. If there is God, why there're(no contraction with 'there are') are there so many ill people? Why there are waifs all around? If God exists, suffering and pain do not. I can't imagine God allowing these things." Thinking, the man became silent for a while because he didn't want to answer with no arguments.
The barber did his job, and the man went out (OR 'left'). Not long after exiting the barbershop, he spotted a man walking in the street with long hair and untidy beard. Actually, all his appearance was untidy. Then, the man entered the barbershop again and told the barber: "There are not barbers - they don't exist." "How (OR 'why') do you think so?" - the barber asked. "No", the man shouted, "they don't exist. Because if they exist, there aren't untidy people, as (OR 'like) the one walking beside (OR 'outside') your barbershop.""No, barbers do exist, but people don't want to come to
thembarbers.""Yes, true." - the man confirmed. ""In the same way, God exists, but people don't want to come to him!"
Please correct any mistakes (including possible misspellings) and tell me how do you like the text, the writting style etc.
P.S. Atheists should disregard the point of the text.