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  1. #1
    new_ is offline Newbie
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    Default help in write an essay

    hi for all
    i have good chance for
    come here with you
    friends i try to write an essay
    about famous peoples i write this
    Paragraphs

    Famous people come upon them in their lives a lot of harassment from other people
    And journalists and so on, and this, in my view is tax fame, as it is
    Got the fame and love of his people and bringing them to him is something delightful
    And positive, and on the other hand, when they go to a place or to a special leave
    Others find they are looking for and trying to take pictures with him that will give him discomfort and bewilderment.
    I see from my point of view that every star or a famous person must possess two capacities
    A basic culture and patience, the culture can deal with others and telegraphic style
    Well, as well as he can to change them and affects them for the better and this is something good happens
    Him for his community, and the patience he can be more resilient to the pressures that come to him
    From others, by adjusting to the atmosphere.
    On the other hand, as well as the people or the public in the sense that the healthier should be more paper
    And balanced and more wisdom in dealing with their favorite, you should bear in mind their particular circumstances
    And desires and rituals, and enable them.
    in the end I would like to say that the fame and money is not everything in life, love of people and affected your
    Is the greatest thing that could come out of this life
    any one have notes or get errors in spelling or Grammar or have an extra for this essay
    can correct to me

  2. #2
    Raymott's Avatar
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    Default Re: help in write an essay

    Quote Originally Posted by new_ View Post
    hi for all
    i have good chance for
    come here with you
    friends i try to write an essay
    about famous peoples i write this
    Paragraphs

    Famous people come upon them in their lives a lot of harassment from other people
    And journalists and so on, and this, in my view is tax fame, as it is
    Got the fame and love of his people and bringing them to him is something delightful
    And positive, and on the other hand, when they go to a place or to a special leave
    Others find they are looking for and trying to take pictures with him that will give him discomfort and bewilderment.
    I see from my point of view that every star or a famous person must possess two capacities
    A basic culture and patience, the culture can deal with others and telegraphic style
    Well, as well as he can to change them and affects them for the better and this is something good happens
    Him for his community, and the patience he can be more resilient to the pressures that come to him
    From others, by adjusting to the atmosphere.
    On the other hand, as well as the people or the public in the sense that the healthier should be more paper
    And balanced and more wisdom in dealing with their favorite, you should bear in mind their particular circumstances
    And desires and rituals, and enable them.
    in the end I would like to say that the fame and money is not everything in life, love of people and affected your
    Is the greatest thing that could come out of this life
    any one have notes or get errors in spelling or Grammar or have an extra for this essay
    can correct to me
    Hello new.
    You've come to the right place.
    This is not an essay.
    Were you taught to write like this? Is this how you've seen essays in English set out? Why are you starting new lines with capital letters? Where are your fullstops (periods) at the end of a sentence? You can't simply start a new line in the middle of a sentence.

    It is very difficult to understand what you are saying. You might have seen poems using (something like) this sort of structure, but this is not right for an essay. I'd advise you to fix it and repost it. You can fix it by arranging it into sentences that begin with a capital letter, end with a period, and do not break arbitrarily across lines. That will be a start.

  3. #3
    new_ is offline Newbie
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    Default Re: help in write an essay

    friend i would to thank you first
    and i update my essay to this
    Famous people come upon them in their lives a lot of harassment. From other people
    And journalists and so on.
    I think from my point of view this is the fame tax .Them are
    Got the fame and love of the people and bringing them to him is something delightful
    And positive. But ,on the other hand, when them go to any place or to a special holiday will see the
    Others looking for them, chase them, and trying to take pictures with them. This will be effect on this special life and take them in discomfort and bewilderment..
    : I see from my point of view that every star or a famous person must possess two capacities first one
    .the culture and the second is the patience. The culture can deal with others by good style
    Well, as well as he can to change them and affects them for the better and this is something good happens
    Him for his community, and the patience he can be more resilient to the pressures that come to him
    From others, by adjusting to the atmosphere.
    On the other hand, as well as the people or the public in the sense that the healthier should be more paper .
    And balanced and more wisdom in dealing with their favorite, you should bear in mind their particular circumstances
    .And desires and rituals, and enable them.
    On the end I would like to say that the fame and money is not everything in life, love of people and affected your
    .Is the greatest thing that could come out of its life
    can you give me your opinion and help me
    thanks

  4. #4
    Raymott's Avatar
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    Default Re: help in write an essay

    Are you taking the piss?
    In English, we align to the left. Open any book printed in English to find out how to correctly write in English. Any book. Or even any message here written by a native. You could even use this short post as an example.

    You might have missed the part where I advised not to start each line with a capital letter, and not to arbitrarily break sentences across lines.
    Can you explain to me how you've learnt to write English at this level without observing these pre-basic level conventions? Don't your teachers care? I'm honestly interested.

  5. #5
    new_ is offline Newbie
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    Default Re: help in write an essay

    friend sorry but i think the problem in site or something other
    i modify the essay to this now
    Famous people come upon on them in their lives a lot of harassment from other people like journalists, fans and son on .And this ,in my point of view is the fame tax.When them got the fame and love of others and affection them to him is something delightful and positive . And on the other hand, when they go to a place or to a special leave. Others will be looking for them and trying and trying to take pictures with them. That is will make to them discomfort and annoyance. I see from my point of view that every star or a famous person must posses two capacities. A basic culture and patience. The culture can enable them to deal with others by good style .And by patience them can dealing with discomfort and annoyance. By culture any star or a famous person can change and affects for the better .I think this is a very important thing and something good from him to his community . The patience is very important by it them can be more resilient to the pressures that come to them from others . on the other hand, as well as to that the people or the public in the sense that the healthier must be more mannerly And balanced and more wisdom in dealing with their favorite stars. You should bear in mind their particular ,their circumstances ,their desires and their rituals. And you must enable them to practice their favorite thing easily. On the end I would like to say that the fame and money is not everything in life. Love of people and your affected them to the better is the greatest thing that could come out of your life.
    now can you help me in this essay friend

  6. #6
    Raymott's Avatar
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    Default Re: help in write an essay

    Quote Originally Posted by new_ View Post
    Friend, sorry, but i think the problem in site or something other.
    I modify the essay to this now.

    Famous people come upon on them bring upon themselves in their lives a lot of harassment from other people like journalists, fans and son on .And this ,in my point of view is the fame tax.
    "... her son on. And this, in my point of view ..."
    [Note the spaces around the punctuation. The space comes after the mark, not before it.

    When they get the fame and love of others and affection them to him it is something delightful and positive to them. And On the other hand, when they go to a place or to a special leave, others will be looking for them and trying and trying to take pictures with them. That is will make to cause them discomfort and annoyance. I see from my point of view believe that every star or a famous person must posses two capacities: a basic culture and patience. The culture can enable them to deal with others by good style .And by patience they can dealing with discomfort and annoyance. By culture any star or a famous person can change and affects for the better .I think this is a very important thing and something good from him to his community. Patience is very important by it them can be more resilient to the pressures that come to them from others. On the other hand, as well as to that the people or the public in the sense that the healthier [what?] must be more mannerly and balanced and more wise in dealing with their favorite stars. You should bear in mind their particular [what?] ,their circumstances ,their desires and their rituals. And you must enable them to practice their favorite thing easily.
    To end I would like to say that the fame and money is not everything in life. Love of people and your affected them to the better is the greatest thing that could come out of your life.
    now can you help me in this essay friend
    I've corrected some of your errors. A full correction would require a re-write. I suggest that you study the corrections I've made, and try to understand the error you've made in each case.

  7. #7
    new_ is offline Newbie
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    Default Re: help in write an essay

    friend thanks a lot
    and you advert to some grammar mistakes
    can you tell me what about writing mistakes
    like commas and fullstops

  8. #8
    Raymott's Avatar
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    Default Re: help in write an essay

    Quote Originally Posted by new_ View Post
    friend thanks a lot
    and you advert to some grammar mistakes
    can you tell me what about writing mistakes
    like commas and fullstops
    The way to learn is to follow some of the rest of the threads here that you can understand. And ask specific questions about things that you don't understand.

  9. #9
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    Default Re: help in write an essay

    Quote Originally Posted by Raymott View Post
    Are you taking the piss?
    In English, we align to the left. Open any book printed in English to find out how to correctly write in English. Any book. Or even any message here written by a native. You could even use this short post as an example.

    You might have missed the part where I advised not to start each line with a capital letter, and not to arbitrarily break sentences across lines.
    Can you explain to me how you've learnt to write English at this level without observing these pre-basic level conventions? Don't your teachers care? I'm honestly interested.
    I've noticed that when you're using Arabic or Hebrew software, even when set to English, it sometimes aligns wrong.

    I think he or she is actually mimicking a poetic form, reminiscent of e.e. cummings, rather than a real essay.

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