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Thread: Any faults?

  1. #1
    Join Date
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    Default Any faults?

    Hi my name is Casper, I'm a norwegian citizen and I'm contemplating spending a year at the SAE Institue in NYC after I graduate from high school. Since I'm more or less on a shoestring, I've been trying to get financial aid from NSELF (the norwegian state educational loan fund), but unfortunately, they wont support the SAE Institute. It's kind of odd because they have supported similar studies before, but never SAE studies though. They don't know much about the SAE Institue.
    I depend on financial support to make this happen, so do you know of other ways to get financial aid? I've spoken to this guy, he have some friends attending the Full Sail school and according to them, international students can get a whole lot of financial aid. Is this correct? If yes, how can I get support, and from who?
    By the way, is it possible to attend the full-time "Audio Technology Program" and at the same time attend the part-time "Electronic Music Producer" program?

    Thanks in advance teachers

  2. #2
    Tdol is offline Editor, UsingEnglish.com
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    Default Re: Any faults?

    If this is written, I wouldn't start with 'hi'. I think the tone for this is a bit informal, unless it's spoken. I'd get rid of the contractions. I'd change 'kind of odd' to 'unsusual'.
    norwegian- should have a capital letter
    I've spoken to this guy, he have - I have spoken to someone who has
    If yes,- If so,
    from who?- from whom?
    By the way,- Also/furthermore

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Any faults?

    Yeah it is written, it's an e-mail, so I guess you're right, it should be more formal. Since you wouldn't start with saying 'hi', what would you start with? Hello?

    Is this better? Feel free to correct sentences and re-write them so that they sound better.

    Hello my name is Casper, I'm a Norwegian citizen and I'm contemplating spending a year at the SAE Institute in NYC after I graduate from high school. Since I'm more or less on a shoestring, I've been trying to get financial aid from NSELF (the Norwegian state educational loan fund), but unfortunately, they wont support the SAE Institute. It's unusual because they have supported similar studies before, but never SAE studies though. They don't know much about the SAE Institute.
    I depend on financial support to make this happen, so do you know of other ways to get financial aid? I have spoken to someone who has some friends attending the Full Sail school and according to them, international students can get a whole lot of financial aid. Is this correct? If so, how can I get support, and from whom?
    Furthermore, is it possible to attend the full-time "Audio Technology Program" and at the same time attend the part-time "Electronic Music Producer" program?

    Thanks Tdol

  4. #4
    Tdol is offline Editor, UsingEnglish.com
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • English Teacher
      • Native Language:
      • British English
      • Home Country:
      • UK
      • Current Location:
      • Philippines
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    Default Re: Any faults?

    I'd be tempted in an email to drop the 'hello', and either put nothing or a proper salutaion. I'd also leave your name out of the text body and put it at the foot of the message.

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