[Essay] Can anyone check my essay,please?

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huysky

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TOPIC: News editors decide what to broadcast on television and what to print in newspaper. What factor do you think influence their decisions? Do we become used to bad news? Would it be better if more good news was reported?



News has become an indispensable role in our life. With it, we can know what is happening around us and even around the world.The information which will be shown to us depend on the editor's decision. However,It's hard for the editors to decide what information that they need to provide us. From my view of point, the factors which contribute to the editor's decision can be listed as follow.
Firstly, It depend upon the kind of customers that they tend to. Each kind of readers or watchers has its own features and interests. For instance, if almost your audiences are teenagers, you should concentrate on something attractive with them such as entertainment star's news or young fashion,etc.It would be silly if you provide teenagers with economic or political news which will definitely bore them. Otherwise, businessman or politicians would be interested in global information such as state of the world's economic or global issue,etc. Thus, it's important to determine what kind of your audiences before broadcasting the information.
Moreover, the heat of the information is also considered as one important factor.How many people will read your information which happened a week ago or even just yesterday.The answer will absolutely be no one.We are living in an energetic and competitive world which late mean lose. The editor broadcast old information and the unavoidable result is they will lose their audience and lead to the collapsable of their company.
On television or in newspaper, we seem to become used to bad news. It is quite difficult for us to meet a piece of good news. The reason is we are curious about bad news and want to know how,why and when it happened.Therefore the editors use these terrible news to gain more and more customers.
However, i think it will be better if the editors report more and more good news.As we known, good news always make us happy,thus,even we face many awful news,we can still be happy with good news.
In conclusion, news are now having greater and greater influence to our life.Thereby, the role of news editors is very important. We should support them. And what they have to do is try their best to provide us useful news, both good and bad.

Can anyone check it for me???
thanks in anticipation!
 
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5jj

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You got 3 out of 10 marks.
This is not hepful unless you are going to give reasons for this remark.

@ huysky: This appears to be a homework assignment. Sorry, we do not help with those.
 
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huysky

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This is not hepful unless you are going to give reasons for this remark.

@ huysky: This appears to be a homework assignment. Sorry, we do not help with those.

oh no, it's not my homework. I just want to improve my language and my writing skill. Thus, i look for some IELTS writing topics then write and post there.
I hope people can see and check my essay so that i can learn from mistakes.
thank you for marking my essay but can you show me exactly where i'm wrong and how to improve it. Thank you!
 
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