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    #1

    Please, would you proofread my poem.

    Please, would you proofread my poem Jogging.

    JOGGING

    Jogging at dawn a strange phenomenon occurs to me time and again.
    I hear thumping of feet behind me and when I turn my head
    I see my father, my grandfather and my great grandfather running.
    They are completely naked - their muscular, sunburnt bodies wonderful gifts of nature.
    They come abreast of me and my grandfather gives me a mischievous look saying, “How’s it going?”
    Before I manage to answer, they are already ahead of me,
    disappearing in the wisps of mist or yellow light of the early sun, depending on weather.
    I try to catch up with them and push hardest I can,
    but every time I have to admit to myself my wanting.
    I have to train harder. I must prepare myself.
    One day I will run with them heaven’s trails and never became exhausted.
    Last edited by Bassim; 16-Aug-2011 at 20:29.

    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Student or Learner
      • Native Language:
      • Serbo-Croatian
      • Home Country:
      • Bosnia Herzegovina
      • Current Location:
      • Sweden

    • Join Date: Mar 2008
    • Posts: 810
    • Post Thanks / Like
    #2

    Re: Please, would you proofread my poem.

    Thank you so much Gil.
    Nobody has helped me so much on this forum as you have done.

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