- Capitalise 'I' and the first word of each sentence.
- Learn where to put spaces around commas and periods (and put them there). This is easy to learn - look in a book. (I've marked some of your punctuation spacing errors in red. Try to work out why they are wrong).
You need to concentrate more on subject-verb agreement. That is, a singular subject takes a singular form of the verb.
What you write is mostly understandable, but you've made a lot of errors in basic phrasing, as well as grammar. You'll get better with practice, and reading good books.
- For Teachers