my paragraph

[oryx]

Hello,


There are two essential factors of any budget, the revenues and the expenses. In government budget, revenues are usually collected from taxes while the expenses are spending on different sectors like health, education, debt interest and transport. In the UK, the fourth departments that received the highest public money in 2010 were education, defence, law and order and housing and environment representing in (Her Majesty's Treasury,2010). The state spent significantly more money than it rose which caused a gab called deficit and became the largest budget deficit Britain has faced after the wartime. This deficit can be reduced by cut the expenditures or increase the revenues and British government planned to cut budget from some sectors. Thus some of these sectors would affect badly, as it said "almost all government departments, excluding health and overseas aid, will see their budgets cut by an average of 19 per cent over four years " ( Labi and McMutrie,2010).One of the main departments that suffered of this cut was the higher education and the percentage of the money that is going to the higher education decreased from 7.1 billion pounds to 4.2 billion pounds, except research budget which stayed the same level , according to the spending review in 2010 ( Her Majesty's Treasury,2010). However, the government decided to continue paying for some subjects, science, mathematics, engineering and technology and other subjects like social sciences and humanities will not be supported by government. Form all above, it seems that British government did very well to create a balance in its budget by reducing expenditure on the departments that suck huge public resources. In addition, it certainly deserves appreciation that the government wants its country to remain a leader in the research and the science by supporting them financially although it suffers from deficit.


Is this paragraph has any mistake?
and if there was a title for this paragraph , what would it be?
Thanks

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[Josiah7]

Hi Oryx, these are my suggestions for your essay.

There are two essential factors of any budget, which are the revenues and the expenses. In government budget, revenues are usually collected from taxes while the expenses are spent on different sectors like health, education, debt interest and transport. In the UK, the four departments that received the highest amount of public money in 2010 were the education, defence, law and order, and housing and environment departments represented in (Her Majesty's Treasury,2010). In 2010, the state spent significantly more money than its budget, causing a gap called deficit, so it became the largest budget deficit Britain has faced since the wartime. This deficit can be reduced by cutting the expenditures or increasing the revenues. The British government had already planned to cut budgets from several sectors. Thus, several sectors would be affected negatively, as it had mentioned,"Almost all government departments, excluding health and overseas aid, will see their budgets cut by an average of 19 per cent over four years " ( Labi and McMutrie,2010).One of the main departments that suffered a cut was the higher education department. The percentage of the money that is going to the higher education decreased from 7.1 billion pounds to 4.2 billion pounds, except for research budget which stayed at the same level , according to the spending review in 2010 ( Her Majesty's Treasury,2010). However, the government decided to continue paying for some subjects; however, science, mathematics, engineering and technology and other subjects like social sciences and humanities will not be supported by the government. From the above information, it seems that British government had done very well to create a balance in its budgets by reducing expenditure on the departments that suck huge public resources. In addition, it certainly deserves appreciation that the government wants its country to remain a leader in the field of scientific research by supporting them financially although it suffers from deficit.

An appropriate title for this paragraph could be "The effect of deficit on the British government's expenditure".

 

[tedtmc]

There are two essential factors of any budget, which are the revenues and the expenses

Would components be a better word?

Factors are those things that affect a budget such as economic conditions, politics, etc