(1) Hopefully, some of the great teachers will answer today. Since you need this for presentation next week, I shall try to offer a few ideas. You want your paper to be "perfect." Of course, I am not qualified to give "perfect" advice. Anyway, here goes:
(a) for the kind of people who ....
(b) a dash equals two hyphens:
Mona -- my wife -- loves ice cream.
(c) I found that hidden trapdoor. (no "out")
(d) a perfect refuge for me in which to hide out -- to pretend to hide out.
(I don't think it's necessary to repeat "me" in the part after the hyphen.
(e) You used -- ; (I do not think the semicolon is correct; the dash is enough.)
(f) make-believing. (spelling error)
(g) excluded from everything.
(h) Yes, I think that "it" can be used for the monster.
P.S. The VIP member made some corrections in the correct manner: he drew
lines through some words and made corrections above some words in your
original article. I did not do that for one reason: I did not know how to. I am
computer illiterate. Sorry.