(1) Maybe I am just stupid, but I see nothing wrong about translating from Italian into
English. Isn't that the job of an interpreter or translator?
(2) I think, however, that more people might be eager to answer if you broke up
the story into several short posts.
(3) Furthermore, as the VIP member suggested, all those ellipses and dashes
do (to be honest) rather annoy English-reading audiences.
(4) I understand, of course, that languages vary. Maybe in some languages,
that kind of language (full of dashes and ellipses) is considered very literary.
That's fine. But it does "turn off" English readers ( = makes them lose interest).
(5) Is there any chance that you could choose four or five sentences that you want
checked? Then, hopefully, some of the wonderful teachers here will be motivated
to help you. (I am hoping that a certain professional writer decides to advise you.)
The best of luck to you. Being a translator or interpreter is a great job. Your English
really is very good!
Thanks so much for what you've written...I absoloutely agree with you. Actually this tanslation is for a selection for a job. The one who'll be able to translate in a better and more properly way the Italian text into English, might be hired by a big and important company that deals in the translation of Italian books (above all novels) into English. That's it. For this reason, I wish it could be quite perfect.
(1) Hopefully, some of the great teachers will answer today. Since you need this for presentation next week, I shall try to offer a few ideas. You want your paper to be "perfect." Of course, I am not qualified to give "perfect" advice. Anyway, here goes:
(a) for the kind of people who ....
(b) a dash equals two hyphens:
Mona -- my wife -- loves ice cream.
(c) I found that hidden trapdoor. (no "out")
(d) a perfect refuge for me in which to hide out -- to pretend to hide out.
(I don't think it's necessary to repeat "me" in the part after the hyphen.
(e) You used -- ; (I do not think the semicolon is correct; the dash is enough.)
(f) make-believing. (spelling error)
(g) excluded from everything.
(h) Yes, I think that "it" can be used for the monster.
P.S. The VIP member made some corrections in the correct manner: he drew
lines through some words and made corrections above some words in your
original article. I did not do that for one reason: I did not know how to. I am