Letter to university. Help Plz.

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Alexitron

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Hi guys.
I need some help with my motivation letter. Please review and tell me what you think. Given that English is not my native language, is it acceptable?

Dear Sir or Madam:


I am applying to your Master program of "AAA" starting in February 2012 at the University of BBB.


I am a Greek citizen and lived most of my life in Thessaloniki. I have always found Physics a fascinating field of study, which has to do with the passionate teachers I came across during school years. After my graduation from High School I entered the Physics Department in Aristotle University of Thessaloniki, one of the most respected Universities in Greece.


During the period 2009-2010 I served an obligatory year in Hellenic Army and received my bachelor degree in Physics after military discharge. Since then I've been helping high school students teaching them catch up courses in Physics and Mathematics. The job was interesting and pleasant and the fact that I worked with weak students, watching them achieving better performances made it even more satisfactory. I also participated in an introductory JAVA programming course held by the National Technical University of Athens. Other than that I was playing basketball in a local team until recently, I like running, swimming and football.


Since my entrance at the university, the idea of a master degree was always on my mind in order to get further and more specialized knowledge. In conversations with professors and fellow students, Netherlands, origin of many great physicists, was always one of the top choices for post-graduate studies and BBB top on the list. Experiences from friends who entered master programs at BBB were exceptional concerning the academic standards and the quality of life. Considering that the university is ranked as one of the best in Europe, seems like the perfect place to take the next step.


I see the Master degree in AAA as a bridge to biomedical industry or even, if I get the chance, for a PhD. I realize the highly competitive demands of the program but I am confident that with hard work I will cope with the requirements and that my adjustment will be quick. I look forward for the experience.




Thank you for considering my application

Sincerely yours
 

Alexitron

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Come on guys. Is it that awful (short,bad grammar,vocabulary or context) and no one replies? Just an opinion from someone who is familiar with this kind of letters. I've seen a lot of help in this forum. Please, i need to send it before the deadline.
 

tedtmc

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Dear Sir or Madam:

I am applying [STRIKE]to [/STRIKE] for [STRIKE]your[/STRIKE] the Masters program of "AAA" starting in February 2012 at the University of BBB.

I am a Greek citizen and lived most of my life in Thessaloniki. I have always found Physics a fascinating field of study, which has to do with the passionate teachers I came across during school years. After my graduation from High School I entered the Physics Department in Aristotle University of Thessaloniki, one of the most respected Universities in Greece.


During the period 2009-2010 I served an obligatory year in Hellenic Army and received my bachelor degree in Physics after military discharge. Since then I've been helping high school students teaching them catch-up courses in Physics and Mathematics. The job was interesting and pleasant and the fact that I worked with weak students, watching them [STRIKE]achieving [/STRIKE] achieve better performances made it even more satisfactory. I also participated in an introductory JAVA programming course held by the National Technical University of Athens. Other than that, I [STRIKE]was[/STRIKE] [STRIKE] playing [/STRIKE] played basketball in a local team until recently, I like running, swimming and football.


Since [STRIKE]my entrance [/STRIKE] I started my career at the university, the idea of a master degree [STRIKE]was[/STRIKE] [STRIKE]always[/STRIKE] has always been on my mind in order to [STRIKE]get[/STRIKE] acquire/pursue further and more specialized knowledge. In conversations with professors and fellow students, Netherlands, the origin of many great physicists, [STRIKE]was always[/STRIKE] has always been one of the top choices for post-graduate studies and BBB is top on the list. Experiences from friends who entered the master (Masters?) programs at BBB [STRIKE]were[/STRIKE] have been exceptional concerning the academic standards and the quality of life. [STRIKE]Considering[/STRIKE] The fact that the university is ranked as one of the best in Europe[STRIKE], seems[/STRIKE] [STRIKE]like [/STRIKE] makes it the perfect place for me to take the next step.


I see the Master degree in AAA as a bridge to the biomedical industry or even, if I get the chance, for a PhD. I realize the highly competitive demands of the program but I am confident that with hard work I will cope with the requirements and that my adjustment will be quick. I look forward [STRIKE]for [/STRIKE] towards the experience.

I think it is called a masters (plural) program. Pls check.
 

Alexitron

New member
Joined
Aug 20, 2011
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Student or Learner
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Greek
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Greece
Current Location
Greece
Thank you very much for your help and the time you spent.
 

tedtmc

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Joined
Jun 12, 2006
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You're welcome. FYI, it is called Masters/Master's programme or Master degree programme.
 
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