Help with School Club Mission Statement

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Nate22

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Hey, I'm in the process of creating a student organization on my college campus, and I'm having trouble with writing up the mission statement for the organizations constitution. The format of the mission statement is as follows: the mission statement of [group name] is to...

The mission statement is limited to 30 words or less.

The goals of my group are to raise awareness on the effects of modified food and water on health, raise awareness on the environmental repercussions from modified food, and to promote healthier lifestyle alternatives.

So far I have two different statements written up.

1.
The mission of G.R.O.W.T.H. is to raise awareness on modified food and water and its effects on our health and the environment, and to promote healthier lifestyle alternatives.

2. The mission of G.R.O.W.T.H. is to raise awareness on modified food and water and its effects on our health, the repercussions on the environment, and to promote healthier lifestyle alternatives.

Are these statements grammatically correct and do they properly convey my goals? I would like to convey the message that there are repercussions of modified food on the environment, but don't know how to phrase it correctly.

Any help on this would be greatly appreciated.

 

billmcd

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Hey, I'm in the process of creating a student organization on my college campus, and I'm having trouble with writing up the mission statement for the organizations constitution. The format of the mission statement is as follows: the mission statement of [group name] is to...

The mission statement is limited to 30 words or less.

The goals of my group are to raise awareness on the effects of modified food and water on health, raise awareness on the environmental repercussions from modified food, and to promote healthier lifestyle alternatives.

So far I have two different statements written up.

1. The mission of G.R.O.W.T.H. is to raise awareness [STRIKE]on[/STRIKE] ("of" OR "about") modified food and water and its effects on our health and the environment, and to promote healthier lifestyle alternatives.

2. The mission of G.R.O.W.T.H. is to raise awareness on modified food and water and its effects on our health, the repercussions on the environment, and to promote healthier lifestyle alternatives.

Are these statements grammatically correct and do they properly convey my goals? I would like to convey the message that there are repercussions of modified food on the environment, but don't know how to phrase it correctly.

Any help on this would be greatly appreciated.

I like #1 with suggested change.
 

susiedq

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Sep 27, 2010
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I have heard that a good mission statement states a purpose and who benefits from that purpose.

The mission of G.R.O.W.T.H. is to educate people about
healthier lifestyle alternatives by raising their awareness
of the effects on our health from modified foods and water.
 
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