sayo
Member
- Joined
- Sep 9, 2011
- Member Type
- English Teacher
- Native Language
- Japanese
- Home Country
- Japan
- Current Location
- Japan
Hello, there.
I'd really appreciate it if you'd help me out with student's speech
draft.
The speech should be over within 2'45". *I think the draft is a bit
long, but I'm not
sure where to shorten.
In terms of the 'organization', is this draft well-organized and
consistent with the topic or speech title?
Do you think you would get the message of the speaker if you were part
of the audience?
As for the title of the speech, I have some more options something
like below:
"I’ll never forget"
"I’ll stand by you"
"I’ll never forget, standing by you "
Pl. tell me what you think about the title, too.
Lastly, grammar, words & expressions a source of my worries.
Any advice would be of an enormous help to me.
I'm sending you a lot of thanks in advance.
Thank you.
Below is the speech draft.
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I'd really appreciate it if you'd help me out with student's speech
draft.
The speech should be over within 2'45". *I think the draft is a bit
long, but I'm not
sure where to shorten.
In terms of the 'organization', is this draft well-organized and
consistent with the topic or speech title?
Do you think you would get the message of the speaker if you were part
of the audience?
As for the title of the speech, I have some more options something
like below:
"I’ll never forget"
"I’ll stand by you"
"I’ll never forget, standing by you "
Pl. tell me what you think about the title, too.
Lastly, grammar, words & expressions a source of my worries.
Any advice would be of an enormous help to me.
I'm sending you a lot of thanks in advance.
Thank you.
Below is the speech draft.
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