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  1. #1
    taviamichcharm is offline Newbie
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    Default Please help me check my grammar and writing

    Hello. I am a Toefl IBT beginner. Here are some short paragraphs I wrote. But I think there are some details may seem awkward. Please help me check the grammar and writing in each paragraph. Thank you so much.
    1. A useful skill my father taught me is managing my time. He taught me this skill by asking me to plan my week and supervising my effectuation when I was a teenager. From this, I learned how to use my time profitably. I also had much more time to relax and do my hobbies. Today, I use this skill all the time especially when I am busy working. In this way, I will never get stressed or lack of time to do anything.
    2. In high school, I spent my free time to join the music club. I think this was a positive way to spend my free time. For example, one thing I did was to rehearse for performances. I did this because I love music and singing. Another thing I did was to design almost costumes we used on stage. I did this because I want to help my club to save money from buying new costumes. Spending my free time to join music club in high school was a good experience for me.
    3. One difficult experience that I went through was to give a presentation. I experienced this when I went to the university. I was difficult because I had to speak in front of public for the first time. That meant I must overcome the fear of public speaking and try my best to speak confidently as much as possible. From this experience I learned how to give a good presentation by myself. Now I know that I can do anything If I try.
    4. One person I admire is my uncle. I admire him because of his intelligence and devotion. He is a teacher in high school. He has worked hard to communicate all his knowledge to his students. Even though he does not like to promote in his career, he has show me how important it is to set a goal to gain in my work.
    5. One dangerous sport that I would like to try is scuba diving. This sport looks like it would be a lot of interesting. In order to try this sport, you have to be fearless and accept the risks. I want to see if I can overcome myself and how much my brave is. I also think that it is great to see clearly and touch by myself some ocean creatures I have never seen.
    I don't want to try any dangerous or extreme sports. One reason I do not want to try them is because I am not a brave person. I always take care of myself carefully so I do not want to be injured or even died. Another reason I do not want to try any extreme sports id because it costs a lot of money. I am not rich, so I do not want to waste my money on it.

  2. #2
    taviamichcharm is offline Newbie
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    Default Re: Please help me check my grammar and writing

    Is there anyone can help me?

  3. #3
    februar's Avatar
    februar is offline Member
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    Default Re: Please help me check my grammar and writing

    [QUOTE=taviamichcharm;800083]
    Hello. I am a Toefl IBT beginner. Here are some short paragraphs I wrote. But I think there are some details may seem awkward. Please help me check the grammar and writing in each paragraph. Thank you so much.

    1. A useful skill my father taught me is managing my time. He taught me this skill by asking me to plan my week and supervising my effectuation when I was a teenager. From this, I learned how to use my time profitably. I also had much more time to relax and do my hobbies. Today, I use this skill all the time especially when I am busy working. In this way, I will never get stressed or lack of time to do anything.

    2. In high school, I spent my free time attending a music club. I think this was a positive way to spend my free time. For example, one thing I did was to rehearse for performances. I did this because I love music and singing. Another thing I did was to design almost all costumes we used on stage. In this ways I could help my club to save money for buying new costumes. (Spending my free time attending a music club in high school was a good experience for me.A similar sentence was already mentioned above.)

    3. One difficult experience that I went through when I was at university was to give a presentation. I experienced this when I went to the university. It was difficult because I had to speak in front of public for the first time. That meant I had to overcome the fear of public speaking by trying my best to speak confidently as much as possible. From this experience I learned how to give a good presentation by myself. Now I know that I can do anything and everything if I try it.

    4. One person I admire is my uncle. I admire him because of his intelligence and devotion. He is a teacher in high school. He has worked hard to communicate all his knowledge to his students. Even though he does not like to move up his career ladder, he has shown me how important it is to set a goal to achieve success in my work.

    5. One dangerous but very interesting sport that I would like to try is scuba diving. In order to try this sport, you have to be fearless and accept the risks. I want to see if I can overcome myself and if I am really brave. I also think that it would be great to have a close look at some sea creatures I have never seen so far, and touch them by myself. I don't want to try any dangerous or extreme sports for two reasons. Firstly, I am not a brave person. I always take care of myself carefully as I do not want to be injured or even die. Secondly, it costs a lot of money but I am not rich, so I do not want to waste my money on it.

    februar (no teacher)

  4. #4
    taviamichcharm is offline Newbie
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    Default Re: Please help me check my grammar and writing

    Hello. This is a CV I wrote. Please help me edit my grammar and writing. Thank you so much

    OBJECTIVE
    In 5 years later, my objective is to be an Independent Auditor. To achieve it, I try to learn and update knowledge about accounting and auditing everyday; and I want to find a job in auditing field to study practical experience.
    I would like to work for an Auditing Company with professional environment in a long run. I’m willing to work for challenges and chances, under pressure so as to contribute my knowledge and experience.
    EDUCATION
    2008 – Present: University of Economics Ho Chi Minh City
    Title of qualification: Bachelor Degree
    Major: Auditing
    Grade Point Average: 7.5 (in 3 years)
    ACTIVITIES
    Ø I was a volunteer in “Green Summer” Campaign in Binh Phuoc Province, July 2010 – an annual social activity in UEH. We worked in a team, helped residents to build their houses, taught children, organized some programs about health, medical, technology information, and festival for children.
    Ø I had been a member (2008-2009) and was a board member management (2009-2010) of Social activities Team in the Dormitory of the University. We usually visit many places where have children – orphaned, homeless or handicapped; give gifts, teach and play with them.
    Ø I was a member of Securities club of University of Economics (SCUE club), held “SCUE - The future securities investor” in 2009, “SCUE stock exchange” in 2011.
    ACHIEVEMENTS
    Ø Scholarship of UEH in 2008
    Ø “Excellent Student” in the Dormitory of the University, 2009
    Ø Certificate of “Green Summer” Campaign in 2010
    Ø “Having excellent achievements” of the University, 2010
    SKILLS
    Ø Working well in a team or independently, solving problems.
    Ø English: Intermediate level at speaking, listening, reading and writing.
    Ø Computer skill: Microsoft Office, Windows, accounting software – TTsoft and some general computer softwares.
    Ø Excellent presentation and communication skills.
    Hobbies and strengths
    Hobbies: listening music, reading book, travelling, social activity…
    Strengths: Having experiences in team working and some activities; enthusiasm, friendly and patient person.
    I, the undersigned, certify that the statements made by me here with are complete and true to the best of my knowledge and belief.
    Best Regards. Truong Xuan Tung

  5. #5
    februar's Avatar
    februar is offline Member
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    Default Re: Please help me check my grammar and writing

    [QUOTE=taviamichcharm;801582]
    Hello. This is a CV I wrote. Please help me edit my grammar and writing. Thank you so much

    OBJECTIVE
    In 5 years later, my objective is to be a self-employed auditor. To achieve this, I try to learn and update knowledge about accounting and auditing every day, and I want to find a job in the field of auditing to gather some practical work experience.
    In the long run, I would like to work for an auditing company in a professional environment in a long run. I am willing to face new challenges and chances and to work under pressure so as to actively contribute my knowledge and experience into your company.
    EDUCATION
    2008 – Present: University of Economics Ho Chi Minh City
    Title of qualification: Bachelor Degree
    Major: Auditing
    Grade Point Average: 7.5 (in 3 years)
    ACTIVITIES
    Ø I was a volunteer in “Green Summer” Campaign in Binh Phuoc Province, July 2010 – an annual social activity in UEH. We worked in a team, helped residents to build their houses, taught children, organized some programs about health, medical, technology information (information technology – IT?) , and festivals for children.
    Ø I was a member (2008-2009) and was a board member management (2009-2010) of Social activities Team in the Dormitory of the University. We usually visited many places where we gave gifts to orphaned, homeless or handicapped children, whom we also taught, and with whom we played.
    Ø I was a member of Securities club of University of Economics (SCUE club), held “SCUE - The future securities investor” in 2009, “SCUE stock exchange” in 2011.
    I don’t know how to write CV’s in Vietnam. We put the dates at the beginning of the sentence apart in a column, then in another column the word “volunteer” without saying “I was a..” . Below the word “volunteer” follows the name and place of the firm both statements written in bold, then below the firm’s name but not in bold comes the text.

    ACHIEVEMENTS
    Ø Scholarship of UEH in 2008
    Ø “Excellent Student” in the Dormitory of the University, 2009
    Ø Certificate of “Green Summer” Campaign in 2010
    Ø “Having excellent achievements” of the University, 2010 (is not informative)
    SKILLS
    Ø Working well in a team or independently, solving problems.
    Ø English: Intermediate level at speaking, listening, reading and writing.
    Ø Computer skills: Microsoft Office, Windows, accounting software – TT (IT?) software and some general computer software.
    Ø Excellent presentation and communication skills.
    Hobbies and strengths
    Hobbies: Listening to music, reading books, travelling, social activities
    Strengths: Having experiences in Team working and some activities (“some” is not informative); enthusiastic, friendly and patient person.
    I, the undersigned, certify that the statements made by me here with are complete and true to the best of my knowledge and belief.
    Best Regards. Truong Xuan Tung

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