Hello, I'm preparing for the Toefl test and am dealing with the writing section.
Here are the essays about two topics. Can you evaluate them and give me suggestions?
SecondTopic 1 – Why go to University
I strongly believe that university is a crucial step to succeed in future. None of us can expect to reach a high level of education without coming by an academic institution; furthermore, going to university means challenging a new adventure, or even the first one, in which we can understand first-hand what life is, we can discover new places, new people, or new countries, if we study abroad. Nothing could be so educative, nothing could strengthen our fortitude and responsibility so deeply; no choice could be more intelligent than going to university.
Nowadays, finding a job is extremely challenging, mainly for two reasons: first, financial crisis has mollified the entire economic system, hence companies have not many places available; second, usually there are plenty of candidates applying for one job, therefore if you are not outstandingly qualified, you will not defeat your rivals. In this scenario the best thing you could do is to cherish your abilities and your skills, and there is not a better place than university to accomplish that. In this way your passion will be fed, your talent will be exploited and emphasized, and your preparation for the working world will be completed.
Of all importance, is the incredible experience that we do going to university. Since we are child, we live with our parents, and they are the only persons who look after us; but when you go to college, the principal actors of the story will change: it will be your responsibility to take care of yourself, without the help of anyone else. For instance: what about lunch, dinner? What about room tiding? Of course at university you must prepare your self a meal, your must tide your room, you will have to do this time what your parents did for you before. Of course being without parents means having more freedom, but, again, it means more responsibility; it will up to you to schedule when to study and when to have fun, you must understand what is more important. In my opinion, this is really forming, because if you are not alone, if someone will always help you, you will never comprehend what life is, you will never become adult.
Relating to the new experience you do at university, there is the new academic world you meet. What most has shocked me at university is that light air of knowledge you breath; you will have the opportunity to meet persons who have changed our world and our society; how would you feel if your professor won a Nobel price? Isn't it astonishing? Personally I find this really exciting.
Concluding, It is clear where my opinion stands. I think that university is a stepping-stone to succeed professionally, because nothing may improve your education more than dealing with talented professors and skilled students, besides, it will help you to become an adult, because one day your fortitude, your responsibility and your experience will be the only weapons in your arsenal to deal with life.
Topic 2 – Are parents the best teacher?
When we drew our first breath, the first eyes we look at are those of our parents. I think that no one could be more important than them; they made our life real, they have been taking care of us since childhood, and of course they teach us what life means. We usually spend most of our time with parents, consequently our character and education are deeply influenced by their ideas and their values. In my opinion, it is possible to find the consequences of parents' teachings in our politeness and values, in our passions and ideas, and in our behaviors.
Politeness is the first important thing parents must teach us. No one can comprehend what is wrong and what is good, what is unfair and what is fair, without someone who explain him these principles; this is the first mission that our parents must accomplish. Along with this concept goes the fact that our values reflects our parents' ones. Do you think is more important to have lots of money or to be simply happy? Do you think is more important to be intelligent or to be gorgeous? Of course the answer recalls those values that our parents have presented to be more or less important.
Our ideas are a representation of our parents' beliefs too. For instance, our parents' political view is our view; this is easily comprehensible: first, your standards of living depends from your parents financial situation, thus your political ideas are influenced by your family's wealthiness; second, we think that everything parents say is fair and right, therefore we will naturally defend their thoughts. The same concept applies for our passions, in fact we automatically like what our relatives show us to be engaging and exciting. I could even report as example my personal experience: my father is an engineer, and he imbued me with passion for physics and mathematics, and now I'm attending an Engineering school.
The last thing I want to emphasize is the influence in our behavior. Many times some friends of mine tell me that I walk or smile like my dad does; and it is true! Our way of speaking, of moving, of using facial expression, depends from our parents.
Concluding, It is natural that our parents' are the most important teacher for us. Maybe you could argue that none of them will ever teach us something about philosophy, or mathematics, or literature, but in my opinion what parents do goes far behind the mere necessity of becoming a rocket scientist, we primarily need to understand how to deal with life, and no one could do that but our parents.