Help needed with a sentence

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heartshine

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Hi, I need some help with a sentence I'm stuck with. It's the sentence in bold (see below). I'm writing an English novel, but I'm dutch. The sentence is about a boy who wakes up in a chair after having a dream... I'm not happy with the flow of it, is there a better way to shape or complement it? Something is off...
Here it is:

Slowly the blur before him shifted into focus again, taking the shape of his familiar basement room. Like in the moment when sleepiness had pulled down his heavy eyelids, Richard’s hand prevented a white laptop from sliding down his legs.

Thanks a lot!
Jesse
 

White Hat

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Just like at the moment when (the) drowsiness had pulled down his heavy eyelids, Richard’s hand prevented a white laptop from sliding down his legs.

Notsure what you mean by "like". Are you comparing those two events?
 

Jack_Rose

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Hey,

I would like to know whether "hand" should be in its plural form, "hands".

Sincerely,

I am not an English teacher
 

heartshine

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To answer both of you.

I'm indeed comparing two events, before dreaming off en while waking up. The position of the hand and laptop stay the same.

And I'm talking about one hand holding the laptop in place.
 

5jj

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I've just noticed - you have posted this question twice. Please don't do that.
 
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