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  1. #1
    hanky is offline Key Member
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    Default Please improve my sentences ...

    Context: There are two different causes, A and B, for an effect C. Let's say on the left-hand side the influence of A on C is stronger and vice versus.

    My sentences are:

    Note that on the left-hand side of xxx, A dominantly leads the system to C. In contrast, one the other side, B mainly suppress yyy, driving the system to another type of C.

    Please help me to correct and improve my above sentences.

    Many thanks.

  2. #2
    birdeen's call is offline VIP Member
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    Default Re: Please improve my sentences ...

    No one has replied and this may be because others have as much trouble understanding your sentences as I do. Could you perhaps give us a little more insight into what A, B, C, xxx and yyy are? I understand that xxx is some physical object which has a front, which allows us to talk about its right-hand side and its left-hand side. But I'm not sure I understand correctly.

  3. #3
    5jj's Avatar
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    Default Re: Please improve my sentences ...

    Quote Originally Posted by birdeen's call View Post
    No one has replied and this may be because others have as much trouble understanding your sentences as I do. Could you perhaps give us a little more insight into what A, B, C, xxx and yyy are? I understand that xxx is some physical object which has a front, which allows us to talk about its right-hand side and its left-hand side. But I'm not sure I understand correctly.
    I am glad you wrote that, BC. I was wondering if I was being particularly dense when I failed to work it out.

    Hanky, it might be helpful, as BC suggested, if you replaced some of the letters with the relevant nouns. Some of us are not too good at abstract thought.

  4. #4
    hanky is offline Key Member
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    Default Re: Please improve my sentences ...

    Quote Originally Posted by birdeen's call View Post
    No one has replied and this may be because others have as much trouble understanding your sentences as I do. Could you perhaps give us a little more insight into what A, B, C, xxx and yyy are? I understand that xxx is some physical object which has a front, which allows us to talk about its right-hand side and its left-hand side. But I'm not sure I understand correctly.
    Quote Originally Posted by fivejedjon View Post
    I am glad you wrote that, BC. I was wondering if I was being particularly dense when I failed to work it out.

    Hanky, it might be helpful, as BC suggested, if you replaced some of the letters with the relevant nouns. Some of us are not too good at abstract thought.

    Hi, thanks for the replies.

    The reason that I chose to "hide" what actual A, B, C ...are because they are purely in a narrow field of natural science ...

    So I would try to give a "thought" example to see what these ABC... are:

    Let's say you have a system of electrons under a magnetic field, "A" is the interaction between electron and the magnetic field, "B" is electron-electron interaction, "C" is a state of the electron system, say charge ordering for example.

    Now you increase the volume of the system from 0 to "xxx", and then to higher value of "xxx". It is just like a straight line with a point "xxx" on it, so you have left-hand-side ...

    "yyy" is physical quantity of the system, say, pressure for example.

    The state of the system is thus determined by competition between "A" and "B". On the left-hand side of "xxx" (that corresponds to the volume smaller than "xxx" in this example) the effect of A is dominated, effect of B is irrelevant. In contrast, on the right-hand side of "xxx" (that corresponds to the volume bigger than "xxx" in this example) the effect of B is dominated, effect of A is irrelevant. In both case the state of the system is "C".

    I hope I have made it clearer.

  5. #5
    5jj's Avatar
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    Default Re: Please improve my sentences ...

    Quote Originally Posted by hanky View Post
    .I hope I have made it clearer.
    No.

    A good scientist should know that 'yyy' is just floating there. In your first post it appears to be important. In the second post it does not even figure in the explanation.

    It seems strange that 'another type of C' is denoted by the same letter 'C'.

    My leg is beginning to develop that funny little twitch it gets when it is being pulled.

  6. #6
    hanky is offline Key Member
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    Default Re: Please improve my sentences ...

    Quote Originally Posted by fivejedjon View Post
    No.

    A good scientist should know that 'yyy' is just floating there. In your first post it appears to be important. In the second post it does not even figure in the explanation.

    It seems strange that 'another type of C' is denoted by the same letter 'C'.

    My leg is beginning to develop that funny little it gets when it is being pulled.
    'yyy" is truly important since it explains the formation of " 'another type of C' when "B" is dominated.

    Let's say "C" is a magnetic state, so one type of C is ferromagnetic and the other is anti-ferromagnetic.

    In my last explanation I intentionally "forgot" "yyy" just to make it easier to understand but seemingly it doesn't.

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Please improve my sentences ...

    Quote Originally Posted by hanky View Post
    In my last explanation I intentionally "forgot" "yyy" just to make it easier to understand but seemingly it doesn't.
    Indeed not. Forgetting 'yyy' raises the isuue of the endochronic properties of resublimated thiotimoline

  8. #8
    hanky is offline Key Member
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    Default Re: Please improve my sentences ...

    Quote Originally Posted by fivejedjon View Post
    Indeed not. Forgetting 'yyy' raises the isuue of the endochronic properties of resublimated thiotimoline
    I hope it's now clear enough so you and others can help.

  9. #9
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    Default Re: Please improve my sentences ...

    hanky, my post #7 was meaningless. I suspect your original message is.

    If you are serious, then stop playing about with "So I would try to give a "thought" example to see what these ABC are " , "Let's say you have...", " say charge ordering for example., "say, pressure for example" , etc and just post the words you are trying to write.

    I hope I have made it clear

  10. #10
    hanky is offline Key Member
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    Default Re: Please improve my sentences ...

    Quote Originally Posted by fivejedjon View Post
    hanky, my post #7 was meaningless. I suspect your original message is.

    If you are serious, then stop playing about with "So I would try to give a "thought" example to see what these ABC are " , "Let's say you have...", " say charge ordering for example., "say, pressure for example" , etc and just post the words you are trying to write.

    I hope I have made it clear
    Hi fivejedjon,
    I am sorry if my words bother you, I really don't know my style of writing make you think I am not serious (This is just language misunderstanding, sometime a person like me can write something that I doesn't mean ....I've just tried to write it naturally - I would be happy if you can make a rewrite so I can learn).

    With my all respects and frankness, all that I have in mind is that you don't understand my question, and, thus have tried my best to make it clear.

    As I have said, A. B, C ... in my very first question are in a (very) narrow field (So that many of people who happen to read my post are not interested in) thus I have try to give a "thought" example since what I have written in my second post is NOT scientifically correct (so there no need to argue in the physics point of view).

    My dearest fivejedjon, you are very kind that you have spent a lot of time to try to help me, but if you are not comfortable with this, please note that you don't have to continue so.

    I do appreciate you help.

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