[Essay] My career pursuit in next 3 - 5 years. Please check for me! Thank you

[nhatminh12369]

I have written a essay about my career pursuit in next 3 - 5 years. Maybe I have made some grammar mistake or used some words that aren't in accordance with the situation. Can you check it for me, please. Thank you very much

I have drawn three career path in my next 3 – 5 years. Why? Because if I can’t do the first career path, I will turn to the second and if I can’t do the second, too, I must choice the tree career path. My first career path is work in foreign country (like United State, Japan or a Europe nation) when I graduate. My second career path is to get a full foreign scholarship to learnning Master of Infomation Technology, and then I will work there. My third career path is to work in a Viet Nam companies or a companies located in Viet Nam which have more opportunity to go to foreign country and I will try to find a chance to work in foreign country. Generally, my career pursuit in next 3 – 5 years is to working in foreign country (United State, Japan or a Europe nation) because I want to gain more experience and learn about technology in developed country, moreover, this job will give me an amout of money.

About working, I like to work in Embedded System brand (this brand works with dedicated electrical device, for example, the device controls washing machine, device controls trafic light, calculator...). I think it’s a promising domain in Viet Nam at this time and in the future, especially devices have connect ability, for example, when a washing machine finished washing, it sends a message to your phone to notify that it finished it’s job, or some camera set up around your house can notify you when they “see” an unknow person, they can help you prevent thief. There are some example that I want to do in the future because it’s very exciting and have high posibilities to make business. So, I have to learn more from some developed country and when I feel good (maybe 2 – 3 years working in foreign country), I will come back to Viet Nam and start up my own business.

That’s about my future. At this time, the thing I want right now is an IELST certificate (at least 6.5) because I’ve almost done learning in univesity. I don’t worry about the graduation. My biggest trouble is English. If I’m not good English, I can’t acomplish my dream. Therefore, I’m learning English very hard. I’m always hopeful, always believe myself and always do all thing as best as my ability to achive my dream.

 

[februar]

I
My career pursuit in the next 3 - 5 years. Please check for me! Thank you

I have written an essay about my career pursuit over the next 3 - 5 years. Maybe I have made some grammar mistakes or used some words that aren't in accordance with the situation. Can you check it for me, please? Thank you very much.

I have drawn up three [STRIKE]career[/STRIKE] paths to make the right career choice over the next 3 – 5 years. Why? Because if I can’t do the first career path, I will turn to the second and if I can’t do the second either, I must choice the third one [STRIKE]career path[/STRIKE]. My first career path is work in a foreign country (like the United States, Japan or a European nation) after graduation. My second career path is to get a full foreign scholarship to study for a Master’s degree in Information Technology, and then I will work there. My third career path is to work in a Vietnamese company or a company located in Vietnam which [STRIKE]has[/STRIKE]enables more opportunities to go to foreign countries and I will try to find a chance to work in a foreign country) (or: to work abroad) [STRIKE]Generally, my career pursuit in next 3 – 5 years is to working in foreign country (United State, Japan or a Europe nation) because[/STRIKE] (Repetition) The fact is that I want to gain more experience and learn about technology in a developed country, moreover, I will receive quite an amount of money (or: I will have a well-paid job).

About working, I (like to work) enjoy working with the Embedded System [STRIKE]brand[/STRIKE] (this brand works with ingeniously electrical devices, for example, they control washing machines, [STRIKE]device controls[/STRIKE] traffic lights, calculators...). I think it’s a promising domain in Vietnam at this time and in the future, especially due to the connect ability of the devices, for example, when a washing machine has finished the washing, it sends a message to your phone to notify that it has done its job, or some cameras set up around your house can notify you when they “see” an unknown person, they can help you to prevent thieves. There are some examples that I want to do in the future because it’s very exciting and have very good possibilities (or: prospects) to make business. So, I have to learn more from some developed countries and when I feel good (maybe 2 – 3 years working in foreign countries), I will come back to Vietnam and start up my own business.

That’s about my future. At this time, the thing I want right now is an IELST certificate (at least 6.5) because I’ve almost completed my study at university. I don’t worry about the graduation. My biggest trouble is English. If I’m not good at English, I can’t accomplish (or: fulfil / realize) my dream. Therefore, I’m learning English very hard. I’m always hopeful, always believe myself and always do (all things) everything to the best of my ability to achieve my dream.

februar, no teacher