the title is whether computer has more positive effect to young children

any room for improvement? i need your correction and advice, because i am taking ielts test in less than 2 weeks, and i have just started preparing today

Computer has unquestionably been one of the greatest inventions in modern era and it plays an increasingly significant role in our lives. But in the meantime whether it is necessary for young children has become a highly debatable issue among many scholars. Some people think that computer has more negative effects to young children while many others believe that it has more positive effects. Personally I am in favor of the former.

It is totally understandable that some people think that computer could be harm to children in their early lives. The main reason for this is that young children might end up neglecting their studies if they get addicted to computer games. Surely computer games are designed to entertain all age of people. But sometimes it will be harm when it comes to young children as they are immature and lack of self-control abilities. Once they devote themselves into the field it will be very difficult for them to return from the dark side. Apart from that, variety of sources has shown that internet crime has been a common social issue nowadays. This might be a severe issue as young kids are still unable to correctly identify crimes and protect themselves from being hurt.

On the other hand, computer can also be an essential part in daily lives for young children. A vast number of knowledge that could not be learnt in school can be easily accessed by using computer. Therefore it helps young children to absorb new knowledge and study more effectively. In addition to that, numerous jobs nowadays require decent level of computing skills. Thus it is believed that the sooner children get to learn and use computer, the more beneficial they will be in the future.

In summary, I would concede that computer does have several positive effects for young children such as accessing information more effectively. Despite that it can be still potential harm to them. Overall, I am convinced that young children should not be using too much computer in daily lives.