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  1. #1
    aiosh is offline Newbie
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    Default can you help me to correct this paragraph plz enter

    I will talk about a great person in the kingdom of saudi arabia. he died and left behind of several of deeds charity to a lot peopel inside and outside the kingdom. for example inside kingdom prince sultan is considered the first one who established the saudi military. he also donated for many countries. so,this man entered In history of the wider doors, through his great achievements


  2. #2
    blueskyenglish is offline Newbie
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    Default Re: can you help me to correct this paragraph plz enter

    Here's a revised version for you to consider. Some of it needed re-writing but I have kept it to the minimum. Hope it helps. :)

    I will talk about a great person in the kingdom of Saudi Arabia. His name is Prince Sultan. When he died he left behind several deeds of charity to a lot of people inside and outside the kingdom. For example within the kingdom he is considered the first one to establish the Saudi military. He also donated [money? what did he donate?] to many countries and through his remarkable achievements entered history as a great man.

  3. #3
    aiosh is offline Newbie
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    Default Re: can you help me to correct this paragraph plz enter

    thanks a lot for editing my paragraph
    .

  4. #4
    Oliver Siles is offline Newbie
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    Default Re: can you help me to correct this paragraph plz enter

    Hi there! It was nice that you got your paragraph corrected. Next time, it could be better to have three different ideas in your topic sentence and then you can support them with illustrations or examples.

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