[Idiom] Impossible to communicate

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eFFcia

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Hello, Everybody,

I am looking for an idiom/a proverb which can be used when you want to say that you are not able to reach an agreement with someone because you are insisting on your opinion and the other person is insisting on theirs.
"Like talking to the wall" which I only found does not satisfy me because it rather means that the other person did not listen when you tried to convince them about sth and that is not exactly what I want.

Thanks in advance for Your help:)
E.
 

Rover_KE

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'To reach an impasse.'

'To become deadlocked.'
 

bhaisahab

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"To be at loggerheads"
 

TheParser

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Hello, Everybody,

I am looking for an idiom/a proverb which can be used when you want to say that you are not able to reach an agreement with someone because you are insisting on your opinion and the other person is insisting on theirs.
"Like talking to the wall" which I only found does not satisfy me because it rather means that the other person did not listen when you tried to convince them about sth and that is not exactly what I want.

Thanks in advance for Your help:)
E.


NOT A TEACHER


We are never able to see eye to eye.
 

waflob

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This sort of thing often comes up when discussing politics or religion.

In addition to the good examples already given, you can also 'agree to differ'.
 

TheEditor

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Another similar expression is "talking past each other."

For example: "I'm going to leave now. I thought we could find common ground on this issue, but we're just talking past each other."

In essence, it means that you keep stating your opinion and I keep stating mine, but neither of us is making much of an effort to see each other's perspective.
 

Raymott

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Another similar expression is "talking past each other."

For example: "I'm going to leave now. I thought we could find common ground on this issue, but we're just talking past each other."

In essence, it means that you keep stating your opinion and I keep stating mine, but neither of us is making much of an effort to see each other's perspective.
That's similar to "like talking to a brick wall", which the OP has rejected.
In the scenario given, they are not talking past each other, they are both making an effort, but they still don't agree.
 

Rover_KE

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It's probably just me, but I've never heard of 'talking past each other'.

Rover
 

5jj

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TheEditor

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That's similar to "like talking to a brick wall", which the OP has rejected.
In the scenario given, they are not talking past each other, they are both making an effort, but they still don't agree.
Hmmm ... not sure I agree with that.

The situation given was: "you are not able to reach an agreement with someone because you are insisting on your opinion and the other person is insisting on theirs." I don't read that as "both making an effort"; I read it as two people clinging to their respective perspectives. Then again, the OP rejected "like talking to the wall" as being too harsh.

Frankly, those two sentences seem contradictory at first glance, but if I get the gist, the two people aren't being rude or stubborn; they're simply not connecting with each other in their conversation.

I would still call that "talking past each other," because the expression doesn't necessarily imply intransigence, but rather a "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" inability to relate.

By the way, it's interesting that some of you aren't familiar with this expression. Perhaps it's a Yank thing -- a quick Google search returns this 2006 book title: "Talking Past Each Other: What Everyday Americans Really Think (and Elites Don’t Get) About the Economy."

Another way of saying it is, "We just don't speak the same language" -- which is not meant in a literal sense, as both people are fluent in English. Or ... "We're just not clicking" (meaning they aren't in sync).
 
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Tdol

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In BrE, we usenot talk the same language, but I too have not heard talk past each other.
 

waflob

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As a Brit, the expression "talking past each other" didn't bother me, but it might be due to it sounding like a literal translation of a similar (and common) German saying (aneinander vorbeireden).

I don't think this is what the OP's looking for. This is (to me) the same as "getting one's wires crossed" - we understand each other and have no argument, but somehow we're not both on the same page, so to speak.

An example of a situation that the OP needs to describe (and please correct me if I'm wrong) is where someone who leans to the left of the political spectrum is talking to someone from the right of said spectrum. They both understand each other, but neither of them is going to be swayed from their point of view by the other. Basically, they're both too stubborn to engage in a meaningful conversation about politics and should talk about something else.

Similar situations arise between people who support different sports teams, or who practice different religions.
 

JMurray

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I'm familiar with the expression "talking past each other" with the sense that the conversation involves people who are each stating their own point of view without listening to, or trying to understand, the other's.
Perhaps the OP's people just can't find any common ground.
 

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You say tomato, I say tomahto. (This is a horrible example with text only. :-D )
 

TheEditor

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I'm familiar with the expression "talking past each other" with the sense that the conversation involves people who are each stating their own point of view without listening to, or trying to understand, the other's.
Perhaps the OP's people just can't find any common ground.
Yep, that's exactly what "talking past each other" means to me as well: two people who simply aren't making an effort to see each other's point of view.

For example, a man and a woman who've been dating for several months might have the following "talking past each other" conversation:

MAN: "I can't imagine having a future with a woman who can't even say she loves me."

WOMAN: "Men always want to own women before they even bother to get to know them."

MAN: "And women always expect to get more out of a relationship than they're willing to put into it."


In this case, the two parties aren't even trying to find common ground -- they're simply making generalizations that restate their own opinions.

"Getting one's wires crossed," on the other hand, implies (to my ear, anyway) unintentional confusion and/or errors. For instance, a frantic phone call might go this way:

"John, why aren't you here yet? The concert starts at 7 o'clock, and it's 6:45 now."

"What?? I thought you said you wanted me to pick you up at 7 o'clock. Wow, Stacy, I'm sorry -- I must have gotten my wires crossed."
 
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