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  1. #1
    lucakun is offline Newbie
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Student or Learner
      • Native Language:
      • Italian
      • Home Country:
      • Italy
      • Current Location:
      • Italy
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Posts
    19
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    Would you please revise my e-mail?

    This is my work:

    Hi Chris,
    You right gave me a good news, because actually the first week in August I'll be still working, therefore this change is fine, I wouldn't have been available at that time.
    I guess you'll really like everything of my country, specially the food, which is absolutely delicious, indeed I'll take you to taste many kinds of dishes.
    Besides, if I know you well, you'll surely love the art and culture of Italy.
    Regarding clothes, you should bring with you light clothing such as t-shirts, shirts, shorts, jeans and something else. In fact the Italian summer is very hot, especially in my area. Finally, to get here from the airport, the best way is to take the highway, there you'll find numerous signs indicating my city. Though, if you have any problems, you can call me anytime.

    I'm looking forward to seeing you.

    Jack

  2. #2
    blueskyenglish is offline Newbie
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Interested in Language
      • Native Language:
      • British English
      • Home Country:
      • UK
      • Current Location:
      • UK
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Posts
    8
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    Re: Would you please revise my e-mail?

    Hi Italy! Here's a revised email. The tone of emails is conversational and light so I have taken out words like "Finally" and changed some other bits, though I've tried to keep your conversational tone and voice. See what you think...


    Hi Chris,

    You gave me good news because I'll still be working the first week in August, therefore this change is fine as I wouldn't have been available at that time.

    [I imagine "at that time" refers to a previous message?]

    I guess you'll really like everything in my country, especially the food which is absolutely delicious. Indeed I'll take you to taste many kinds of dishes. Besides, if I know you well, you'll surely love the art and culture of Italy.

    Regarding clothes you should bring light clothing such as t-shirts, shirts, shorts, jeans and something else as

    ["something else" is vague]

    the Italian summer is very hot, especially in my area.

    The best way to get here from the airport is to take the highway. You'll find numerous signs there indicating my city. If you have any problems you can always call me.

    I'm looking forward to seeing you.

    Jack

  3. #3
    lucakun is offline Newbie
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Student or Learner
      • Native Language:
      • Italian
      • Home Country:
      • Italy
      • Current Location:
      • Italy
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Posts
    19
    Post Thanks / Like

    Re: Would you please revise my e-mail?

    Thank you so much! I appreciate your revision!

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