The type of help you receive could be different depending on what type of essay you need to write. Generally, when you ask for help with an essay, explain what the assignment is, otherwise people could assume something that's not related to the assignment and give you advice that may end up hurting your grade.
When I read your essay, I wanted to know how you felt about the differences between Virginia and Bangerabad. Are there good things about Virginia compared to Bangerabad? Are there bad things? We can infer some things about how you feel, but they are just guesses. Explain why the things you've noticed are important to you and it will make it easier for the reader to understand how you feel coming to a strange new place.
A few things: Bangerabad is a village, Virginia is a state. It's like if I compared the city of Raleigh to the entire country of Bangladesh. In the beginning of the essay, you mention Bangerabad is like the earth and Virginia is like the sun. You then mention how much bigger the sun is than the Earth. While I understand the idea you wish to convey, you don't need your second sentence to convey what you mean. It's just not important to your essay. It brings in irrelevant details and distracts from the point of your paper. Compare:
toNorthern Virginia compare to my hometown Bangerabad is like earth compare to sun. According to NASA calculations, 1,000,000 Earths would fit inside the sun. My hometown Bangerabad is that many times smaller than Virginia is. Size is not the only difference in those two places. Northern Virginia and My hometown Bangerabad have completely diverse lifestyle, Environment and cost of living.
Northern Virginia compared to my hometown Bangerabad is like the sun compared to the earth. Just as the sun is one million times larger than the earth, my hometown Bangerabad is that many times smaller than northern Virginia . Size is not the only difference. Northern Virginia and Bangerabad have completely different environments, lifestyles, and costs of living.
The second has the same meaning, but it gets to the point more directly and doesn't distract the reader.
I hope I helped, and good luck on your assignment!
- For Teachers