CPE Writing correction

Status
Not open for further replies.

chrishans

Member
Joined
Nov 14, 2011
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
Spanish
Home Country
Argentina
Current Location
Argentina
Hi! I'm about to sit for the CPE exam, and I've been given this task:

While reading a magazine, you come across the following letter from another reader. you decide to write a letter in response, providing your own analysis of the problem described and suggesting a number of possibles courses of action that might help the situation:

"My relationship with my parents is not as good as it used to be. They always seem to busy to talk to me and when they do, it's usually to complaion that I go out too often, come home too later or spend too many hours on the computer. I'm sixteen now and I fell I should be able to do what I like with my time."

(PART 1)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear reader,
I am writing to you in order to try to help you out with the situation you mentioned in your letter to this magazine last week.
According to your letter you and your parents have not been getting on very well recently. You said that this is because you have some disagreements about how late you return to your home, or how many hours you spend on the computer. I am afraid that all teenagers’ parents do the same as yours. But they might be right, they usually are when it is about their children. You should know that they complain about these issues because, firstly, you still depend on them and leave together and therefore you cannot do whatever you want; and secondly, because they care about you and they want all the best for you. They do not complain just to bother you.
I would advise you and your parents to have a peaceful and respectful conversation, there is no need to turn it into an argument full of anger. You should talk about your different points of view and try to get to an agreement on how many hours you are allowed to use the computer, or at what time you should come back, and any other issues where there are divergences between you and your parents. All of you should be comfortable with the decisions made, even though it may not be exactly as either of you want. Otherwise, if you think this is impossible because it will inevitably end in a quarrel, you could do something else. Taking into consideration that you are sixteen years old, and only two years away from your full independence from them, I would suggest that you make the effort to stick to what your parents demand, as long and as much as you can, until your eighteenth birthday.
I hope my advice will be useful to improve your relationship with your parents. I look forward to hearing from you.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Which can be the final greeting? I really didn't know whether to make it formal, informal or neutral, neither who I was writing to, I suppose to the one who wrote the letter to the magazine.

Could you please correct it and give it a mark (if possible)?

Thank for your time!
 

chrishans

Member
Joined
Nov 14, 2011
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
Spanish
Home Country
Argentina
Current Location
Argentina
All of you should be comfortable with the decisions made, even though it may not be exactly as [STRIKE]either[/STRIKE] any (either refers to two - either this or that - and there are three people.) of you want.
I know what you mean, but here I'm referring to the parents as a group (1. The guy 2. His parents), so I think either is correct.

you still depend on them and [STRIKE]leave[/STRIKE] live together
Such a stupid mistake! I must have mistyped.

In the original post, I forgot the "s" in "Thanks"

Thank"S"!!!
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top