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  1. #1
    wanglili is offline Newbie
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    Please help with my admission essay

    Could anyone help me revise the first paragraph in my essay? Maybe change some inappropriate usage or some wordy sentences. Thank you!!

    My intense desire to become an EFL teacher in China developed during my personal experience of teaching and being taught English in different settings---top urban school, suburban school and free English lessons for students from underprivileged families. As a successful language learner and the assistant to English teacher all through my middle school years, it has become my habit to help others with their English. Major in English education in college, I grasped every chance to demonstrate that I can teach English in a different way. One of my findings is my suitability in this career: never before has one field of study given full scope to my talents and abilities like when I tackle different tasks in teaching English. Another finding is that ESL teaching is a very profound career, involving a lot of problem solving, which also hold a particular fascination for me.

  2. #2
    se1234 is offline Newbie
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    Re: Please help with my admission essay

    Quote Originally Posted by wanglili View Post
    Could anyone help me revise the first paragraph in my essay? Maybe change some inappropriate usage or some wordy sentences. Thank you!!

    My intense desire to become an EFL teacher developed during my personal experience of being taught English at a top urban school, and later teaching English, when I would give free English lessons to students from underprivileged families. As a successful language learner and assistant to my English teacher throughout my middle school years, it has become my habit to help others with their English. Majoring in English education in college, I took every chance to demonstrate that I can teach English in a unique way. This is where I found my calling-- never before has one field of study demanded the full scope of my talents and abilities like teaching English. I also discovered that ESL teaching is a challenging career, requiring extensive problem solving, which also holds a particular fascination for me.
    What you wrote is fine, apart from a few typos. I changed it a little to make it sound more natural to me.

  3. #3
    wanglili is offline Newbie
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    Re: Please help with my admission essay

    Thanks for you help!

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