Help with Sentence Diagramming

[JazzyTea03]

Hi, I'm Jazz. I'm new, and I'm still trying to figure out how this site works. Still, I'd like to ask help from you guys.

Our class learned how to diagram today. As an assignment, we were to pick partners and diagram the sentence our teacher gave us. We already diagrammed the sentence (it was awfully long), but we aren't sure if we did it right.

But since I'm new, and I don't have ten posts yet (I'm getting there), I can't post the link, so here's the sentence:

The English club of Paranaque Science High School in Barangay Sto. Nino collected the money from the students in each section of each of the year level and distributed that to the poor in a place of poverty with so much distress in the hearts of the members of the English club.


I told you it was awfully long. :lol: Frankly, I don't think this sentence was constructed all that well, but what do I know? I'm just a student. :roll:

If anyone can show me how to diagram this correctly, it will be greatly appreciated!

Oh, and one question: Where should the phrase 'with so much distress in the hearts of the members of the English club' go? Should it be under the word 'distributed' or should we enclose 'money' and 'that' to form something similar to a hexagon and THEN diagram the phrase? I'm sorry if it doesn't make sense - it would if I could show the picture.

 

[Frank Antonson]

Jazzy,

I could certainly diagram that using the American Reed-Kellogg system, but it would be long and tedious. The sentence is mostly made to seem complicated by all of the prepositional phrases modifying the objects of other prepositions.

Bad sentence.

Frank

 

[5jj]

I can't diagram, but here is how I would break up the sentence

The English club..... (of Paranaque Science High School [in Barangay Sto. Nino])..........collected the money..... [from the students {in each section (of each /of the year level/)}] .....and..... distributed that .....[to the poor (in a place {of poverty})]..... [with so much distress {in the hearts (of the members /of the English club/)}].

The last part (from"with so much distress) sits very awkwardly in that terrible sentence.

 

[Frank Antonson]

I MAY Reed-Kellogg that sentence JUST because it is such an awkward one.

 

[mhatter51]

This is a heinous sentence. I believe that if you submitted this sentence to the same teacher he/she would have nothing good to say about it.