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  1. #1
    caro44 is offline Newbie
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    Unhappy Can you help me correct this application letter please?

    Hello ;)
    I am a French student. I finished my studies in tourism and I am looking for a training period (internship?). Could you please help me to correct this letter? Thank you in advance


    Carole A.
    2 route des magnolias
    49000 Angers

    16th November 2011

    Dear Sir or Madam,

    I address my application to a training period in your firm. I finished my studies in tourism.
    Before, I have acquired many experiences in France for example at the reception in tourism office or in a group service last year.
    My personality is very complete. I like work in group. I enjoy meeting people and discover other culture, other daily of life. I conscientious at work. My last experience in la Rochelle, allowed me to take initiative in different task (create a journey for instance).I believe my qualifications would match your requirements.
    Moreover, this linguistic experience will be a spring board to the beginning to my career in tourism.
    Thank you for your time and consideration.
    Yours faithfully

    Carole A.

  2. #2
    billmcd is offline Key Member
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    Default Re: Can you help me correct this application letter please?

    Quote Originally Posted by caro44 View Post
    Hello ;)
    I am a French student. I finished my studies in tourism and I am looking for a training period (internship?). Could you please help me to correct this letter? Thank you in advance


    Carole A.
    2 route des magnolias
    49000 Angers

    16th November 2011

    Dear Sir or Madam,

    I address my application to Please consider this letter as an application for a training period in your firm. I finished my studies in tourism. (You should state where you studied and some of the courses or curricula)
    Before,Following my studies I more recently acquired many experiences in depth experience in France, for example, at in the reception section of the in tourism office or in a group services. last year. My personality is very complete. I consider myself to be very personable, conscietious and I like to work in group. I enjoy meeting people and discover learning about other cultures. other daily of life. I conscientious at work. My last experience in la Rochelle, allowed me to take the initiative in different tasks (creating itinieriesa journey for instance).I believe my qualifications would match your requirements.
    Moreover, this linguistic the experience will would be a spring board to the beginning to of my career in tourism.
    Thank you for your time and consideration.
    Yours faithfully

    Carole A.
    Some suggestions. Good luck.

  3. #3
    caro44 is offline Newbie
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    Default Re: Can you help me correct this application letter please?

    Thank you very much billmcd for this answer. I'm working on it

  4. #4
    billmcd is offline Key Member
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    Default Re: Can you help me correct this application letter please?

    In my previious response I mistakenly crossed out the word "section" (in "reception section"). Also, the words "in group" should have been "in a group" or "with others". Sorry for overlooking my errors.

  5. #5
    caro44 is offline Newbie
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    Default Re: Can you help me correct this application letter please?

    Here's the final version of my letter. I added the missing elements.Is that correct ?
    Thank you for you help
    Have a nice weekend.



    Please consider this letter as an application for a training period in your firm. I finished my studies in tourism. I studied tourism “conception of product touristic” at Universitary in Quimper in Brittany. I realized a dossier to my education about tourism and new technology.
    Following my studies I more recently acquired in depth experience in France, for example, in the reception section of the tourism office in a group services. I consider myself to be very personable, conscietious and I like to work in group. I enjoy meeting people and learning about other cultures. My last experience in la Rochelle, allowed me to take the initiative in different tasks (creating itinieries for instance).I believe my qualifications would match your requirements.
    Moreover, the experience would be a spring board to the beginning of my career in tourism.
    Thank you for your time and consideration.
    Yours faithfully


  6. #6
    billmcd is offline Key Member
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    Default Re: Can you help me correct this application letter please?

    Quote Originally Posted by caro44 View Post
    Here's the final version of my letter. I added the missing elements.Is that correct ?
    Thank you for you help
    Have a nice weekend.


    Please consider this letter as an application for a training period in your firm. I finished my studies in tourism at the Universitary in Quimper in Brittany where I studied tourism “Conception of Product Touristic”. I realized earned a dossier to my education about tourism and new technology.
    Following my studies and more recently I acquired in depth experience in France.., for example, in the reception section of the tourism office in a group services. I consider myself to be very personable, conscietious and I like to work in group. I enjoy meeting people and learning about other cultures. My last experience in la Rochelle, allowed me to take the initiative in different tasks (creating itineraries for instance).I believe my qualifications would match your requirements.
    Moreover, the experience would be a spring board to the beginning of my career in tourism.
    Thank you for your time and consideration.
    Yours faithfully
    Looks good. A few more changes.

  7. #7
    caro44 is offline Newbie
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    Default Re: Can you help me correct this application letter please?

    Thank you very much for your help billmcd. I really appreciate it

    I have one question about the sentence "I realized earned a dossier"
    I thought I could use "earn" when meaning "earn money" only, am I wrong?

    When I wrote "
    I realized earned a dossier to my education about tourism and new technology.", I meant "I wrote a document about tourism and new technology." Is it the same meaning?

    Have a nice Sunday

  8. #8
    billmcd is offline Key Member
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    Default Re: Can you help me correct this application letter please?

    Quote Originally Posted by caro44 View Post
    Thank you very much for your help billmcd. I really appreciate it

    I have one question about the sentence "I realized earned a dossier"
    I thought I could use "earn" when meaning "earn money" only, am I wrong?

    When I wrote "I realized earned a dossier to my education about tourism and new technology.", I meant "I wrote a document about tourism and new technology." Is it the same meaning?

    Have a nice Sunday
    First, I didn't understand your use of "dossier". It would be better if you said that you "authored a paper on tourism". Second, the term "earn" is typically used in reference to money, but it can also be used to indicate that a person earns a degree from a university, earns a certificate for some activity or accomplishment etc. So, disregard my original use in your statement.

  9. #9
    caro44 is offline Newbie
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    Default Re: Can you help me correct this application letter please?

    Thank you very much billmcd.
    Now I understand better and I'll correct my letter.
    Have a nice day

  10. #10
    Jess Alexander is offline Newbie
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    Default Re: Can you help me correct this application letter please?

    Carole,

    First off, make sure you actually address the letter to someone by name. Make a phone call to find out who will be reading your resume. Do this for each cover letter!

    Remember, you are writing this letter to a real person. No matter how many applications a hiring manager has to go through, a personal address is always appreciated.

    Jess

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