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    #1

    Need help for Toefl essay correction

    Question:
    Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is better to take the most difficult or challenging classes in college or at university even if it means that you probably will not get top grades (marks) in them.

    My essay:
    Many students tend to choose easy courses in college because this choice enables them to have more spare time and get high grades easily. As far as I am concerned, I would rather opt for the most difficult and challenging classes even though I cannot get top grades in them.

    We are living in an increasingly competitive world the population of which has exceeded 7 billion. Ever since the beginning of our lives, we have to compete for almost everything. Obtaining the access to the college is not an easy task. Given that we have fulfilled that arduous task, we should not indulge ourselves in comfort. It’s true that colleges provide a haven for students to get detached from the reality. However, life is much tougher outside the college and everyone has to leave the ivory tower. To survive in this highly competitive world, one has to equip himself with the techniques necessary for future advancement. To acquire those techniques before entering the job market, one has to push himself hard, i.e. , challenge himself.

    Choosing easy classes may lead to high scores, but the student may have the illusion that success is not difficult to achieve and tend to be readily satisfied. In contrast, students who choose the most difficult classes have to work much harder to earn comparable scores, and in reality it is nothing else than the process of constantly pursuing brilliance that makes a person distinguished. Only when a person leaves his comfort zone can he make considerable progress. In other words, challenges are the best tool to fully fulfill one’s potential. We all witness that most of the successful individuals embrace challenges and set strict demands on themselves.

    Furthermore, conquering challenging classes is best able to afford the student the sense of achievement. A person may not be excited about an easy job he has finished, but performing a daunting task can be uplifting and build up the person’s self-confidence.

    Finally, I would like to conclude my writing with a line in the renowned India movie “Three Idiots” : Follow excellence and success will chase you.

    Help will be greatly appreciated : )

  1. februar's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: Need help for Toefl essay correction

    [QUOTE=Monte_Cristo;823875]Question:
    Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is better to take the most difficult or challenging classes in college or at university even if it means that you probably will not get top grades (marks) in them.

    My essay:
    Many students tend to choose easy courses in college because this choice enables them to have more spare time and get high grades easily. As far as I am concerned, I would rather opt for the most difficult and challenging classes even though I cannot get top grades in them.

    We are living in an increasingly competitive world as the population of which has exceeded 7 billion. Right from the moment of our birth, we have to compete for almost everything. No wonder that obtaining the access to the college is not an easy task. Given that we have fulfilled that arduous task, we should not indulge ourselves in comfort. It’s true that colleges provide a haven for students to get detached from the reality. However, life is much tougher outside the college and everyone has to leave the ivory tower. To survive in this highly competitive world, one has to equip oneself with the techniques necessary for future advancement. To acquire those techniques before entering the job market, one has to push oneself hard, i.e., challenge oneself.

    Choosing easy classes may lead to high scores, but the student may have the illusion that success is not difficult to achieve and tend to be readily satisfied. In contrast, students who choose the most difficult classes have to work much harder to earn comparable scores, and in reality it is nothing else than the process of constantly pursuing brilliance that makes a person distinguished. Only when a person leaves his comfort zone can he make considerable progress. In other words, challenges are the best tool to fully fulfill one’s potential. We all witness that most of the successful individuals embracing challenges and setting strict demands on themselves.

    Furthermore, conquering challenging classes is best able to afford the student the sense of achievement. A person may not be satisfied with an easy job he has finished, but performing a difficult task requiring courage can be uplifting and build up the person’s self-confidence.

    Finally, I would like to conclude my writing with a line in the renowned India movie “Three Idiots”: Follow excellence and success will chase you.

    Help will be greatly appreciated : )

    februar, no teacher

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    #3

    Re: Need help for Toefl essay correction

    Thank you for your help : )

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    #4

    Re: Need help for Toefl essay correction

    I don't understand why 'himself' should be replaced by 'oneself'. Can you explain a little bit about it? Thank you!

  2. 5jj's Avatar
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    #5

    Re: Need help for Toefl essay correction

    Quote Originally Posted by Monte_Cristo View Post
    I don't understand why 'himself' should be replaced by 'oneself'. Can you explain a little bit about it? Thank you!
    In BrE, if one uses 'one,' one stays with it all the way. One looks at oneself in the mirror, and brushes one's teeth.

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    #6

    Re: Need help for Toefl essay correction

    Thanks! It helps!

  3. februar's Avatar
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    #7

    Re: Need help for Toefl essay correction

    Quote Originally Posted by 5jj View Post
    In BrE, if one uses 'one,' one stays with it all the way. One looks at oneself in the mirror, and brushes one's teeth.
    If you start with "one" take oneself
    If you start with "you" take yourself (best version to me)
    If you start with "he" take himself (out of place here)

    Decide for one version - don't change from one to the other.


    To survive in this highly competitive world, one has to equip himself oneself with the techniques necessary for future advancement. To acquire those techniques before entering the job market, one has to push himself oneself hard, i.e. , challenge himself oneself.

    To survive in this highly competitive world, you have to equip yourself with the techniques necessary for future advancement. To acquire those techniques before entering the job market, you have to push yourself hard, i.e. , challenge yourself.

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    #8

    Re: Need help for Toefl essay correction

    Please grade my essay and give me rating 0 to 6.

    Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is better to take the most difficult or challenging classes in college or at university even if it means that you probably will not get top grades (marks) in them.

    Despite their being a lot of advantages in selecting the hard subject in college or at university,I prefer to take a subject which is easy to read and understand .Below are the few points which i have made to support my opinion.

    First,Universities and colleges are the places where we need to learn some new things both in general way and educational way.The first step after in the college is to select the main stream or subjects.Few things we need to keep in mind while selecting the subject are, we should be able to follow it,we should feel over selves interesting about it,we should have confidence on it.If a subject is following all the qualities that we want, then their is no harm in following the subject.

    Second,Every student will know ones own caliber.Selecting the suitable subject to over own knowledge will bring the subject near and study well.It makes us to read the subject in depth with out any feel of hesitation to read which bring good credits to us.So,following the most likely is the effective way always.

    In Conclusion,It is better to take a subject according to our caliber.In which we can give 100 percent .So, that we can gain good grades and great confidence.

  4. februar's Avatar
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    #9

    Re: Need help for Toefl essay correction

    [QUOTE=usharao;829082]Please grade my essay and give me rating 0 to 6.

    Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is better to take the most difficult or challenging classes in college or at university even if it means that you probably will not get top grades (marks) in them.

    Despite many advantages of those classes providing strenuous subjects in colleges or at universities, I prefer to take a class which is easy to manage and understand. Below are a few points which I have made to support my opinion.

    First, universities and colleges are the places where we need to learn some new things both in general way and educational way. The first step after in a college is to select the main stream or subjects (BrE = main subjects / AmE = majors). Some things we need to keep in mind while selecting a subject is, we should be able to follow it, we should be interested in it, and we should have confidence in it. If a subject includes all the qualities that we want, then it will be easy to follow.

    Second, every student will know his own level.(calibre (BrE = calibre / AmE = caliber). Selecting the suitable subject suitable to our own knowledge will bring the subject nearer to us and enable us to study well. We will be able to read the subject in depth without any feel of hesitation to read which bring good credits to us. So, following this effective way seems most likely to lead to success.

    In conclusion, It is better to take a subject according to our level in which we can give one hundred percent commitment. So, that we can gain good grades and great confidence.

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    #10

    Re: Need help for Toefl essay correction

    thanks for your suggestion.....

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