Results 1 to 3 of 3
  1. #1
    wanglili is offline Newbie
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Student or Learner
      • Native Language:
      • Chinese
      • Home Country:
      • China
      • Current Location:
      • China
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Posts
    22
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default Could anyone help me revise some sentences?

    I am wrting an admission essay for a graduate program. Could anyone help me see if there is any error or inappropriateness in the following sentences? THANK YOU!!

    1. ESL teaching is a dynamic yet demanding field with new solutions and perspectives to be unfolded by tenacious educators.

    2. This class won their school a third prize of all the 42 primary schools their District, the first award it had received of English subject.

    3. Witnessing my students showing more interests in learning English gave me a sense of achievement but I knew just one drama performance was not enough to make them qualified English learners. Their lack in the knowledge of English made me worried.

    4. Meanwhile, observation in classroomsgave me the impression that students who used the most grammatical forms instead of the most appropriate ones got more praise than others. Aspects such as cultural differences behind languages, which seriously affected the efficiency of communication, were rarely addressed.

    5. More than once I have heard or more than once have I heard??

    6. My major concern lies in our teachersí capabilities to change the current educational system into a better one, which require them to demonstrate both high level of language proficiency and the wits to detect hiding problems and challenge out-dated solutions.

  2. #2
    februar's Avatar
    februar is offline Member
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Interested in Language
      • Native Language:
      • German
      • Home Country:
      • Switzerland
      • Current Location:
      • Switzerland
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Posts
    146
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default Re: Could anyone help me revise some sentences?

    [QUOTE=wanglili;823900]I am writing an admission essay for a graduate program.
    I am writing an admission essay for a graduate program. Could anyone help me see if there is any error or inappropriateness in the following sentences? THANK YOU!!

    1. ESL teaching is a dynamic yet demanding field with new solutions and perspectives to be unfolded by tenacious educators.

    2. This class won for their school the third prize of all the 42 primary schools in their district, which was the first award that pupils had received for an English subject.

    3. Witnessing my students showing more interests in learning English gave me a sense of achievement but I knew just one drama performance was not enough to make them qualified English learners. Their poor knowledge of English had worried me.

    4. Meanwhile, observation in classrooms gave me the impression that students who used the most grammatical forms instead of the most appropriate ones got more praise than others. Aspects such as cultural differences behind languages, which seriously affected the efficiency of communication, were rarely addressed.

    5. More than once I have heard or more than once have I heard?? (Or: I have heard more than once)

    6. My major concern lies in our teachersí capabilities to change the current educational system into a better one, which require them to demonstrate both high level of language proficiency and the wits to detect hiding problems and challenge out-dated solutions.

    februar, no teacher

  3. #3
    wanglili is offline Newbie
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Student or Learner
      • Native Language:
      • Chinese
      • Home Country:
      • China
      • Current Location:
      • China
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Posts
    22
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default Re: Could anyone help me revise some sentences?

    thank you.

Similar Threads

  1. Revise Help me please
    By rjsmith33054 in forum Editing & Writing Topics
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 06-Apr-2011, 21:14
  2. revise on our own/ourselves
    By GUEST2008 in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 09-Jun-2008, 23:32
  3. please revise it(2 sentences)
    By thachha in forum Editing & Writing Topics
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 13-Aug-2005, 01:18
  4. please revise ,
    By thachha in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 11-Aug-2005, 18:01

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •