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    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Student or Learner
      • Native Language:
      • Italian
      • Home Country:
      • Italy
      • Current Location:
      • Italy

    • Join Date: Oct 2011
    • Posts: 19
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    #1

    will someone revise my job?

    Hi guys.
    would you correct my writing part?

    Story

    By the time they reached the top of the mountain, it was nearly dark and heavy snow was starting to fall. Mark and Richard had dreamed and scheduled this trip for several months and now who they finally had got to their goal, they felt so cheerful who they were forgetting for a moment the bad weathers conditions that were breaking down on them. " We had better find a shelter for the night" Mark said worried.
    In fact, it was very cold and dark. Therefore, the two friends decided to walk towards a little cave they had seen previously. Once inside, they were able to light a fire and eat something, hoping that the snowstorm went away quickly.
    Fortunately, the morning after the storm had ceased. It was such a wonderful day, that the sun was shining in the sky without a cloud.
    As soon as Mark and Richard came out from their refuge, caught sight the hill entirely covered of snow. Thus, after having enjoyed this moment, they got back home happy.

  1. februar's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Interested in Language
      • Native Language:
      • German
      • Home Country:
      • Switzerland
      • Current Location:
      • Switzerland

    • Join Date: Sep 2011
    • Posts: 146
    • Post Thanks / Like
    #2

    Re: will someone revise my job?

    [QUOTE=lucakun;825514]Hi guys.
    would you correct my writing part?

    Story

    By the time they reached the top of the mountain, it was nearly dark and heavy snow was starting to fall. Mark and Richard had dreamed and scheduled this trip for several months and now that they finally had reached their destination, they felt so cheerful. Thus they were even forgetting for a moment the bad weather conditions that were breaking down on them. "We had better find a shelter for the night" Mark said worried.
    In fact, it was very cold and dark. Therefore, the two friends decided to walk towards a little cave they had seen previously. Once inside, they were able to light a fire and eat something, hoping that the snowstorm would stop soon.
    Fortunately, the following morning after the storm had ceased. It was such a wonderful day, as the sun was shining in the sky without a cloud in the sky.
    As soon as Mark and Richard came out from their refuge, they caught sight of the hill entirely covered with snow. Thus, after having enjoyed this moment, they got back home happy.


    februar, no teacher

    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Student or Learner
      • Native Language:
      • Italian
      • Home Country:
      • Italy
      • Current Location:
      • Italy

    • Join Date: Oct 2011
    • Posts: 19
    • Post Thanks / Like
    #3

    Re: will someone revise my job?

    thank you!!

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