Results 1 to 2 of 2
  1. #1
    ziawj2 is offline Member
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • English Teacher
      • Native Language:
      • Chinese
      • Home Country:
      • China
      • Current Location:
      • China
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Posts
    231
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default questions about a memo

    MEMO

    TO: Department Managers
    FROM: Mackintosh Smith
    DATE: April 3, 2012
    SUBJECT: In-Service Computer Class
    From April 28, Computer Class will be held on Saturdays for two months. There will be 2 groups: intermediate level and advanced level.
    Please encourage your staff to attend one of the sessions. All teaching materials will be provided.
    Please send me the names of all interested staff by next Friday. These staff will take a test the week before May.
    In the above memo, I have some questions about two words and a sentence:
    1. Department Managers
    Does "Division Managers" have the same meaning as "Department Managers"? Ifso, which one is more natural?
    2. Please encourage your staff to attend one of the sessions.
    Are the words “groups” and “levels” more proper than “sessions”? Because “groups” and “levels” are mensioned above. Do you think so?
    3. Please send me the names of all interested staff by next Friday. These staff will take a test the week before May.
    I thought the word "me" would make readers feel puzzled because they had to look through back to find out who is "me", so I preferred changing it to the person's name.
    In the previous sentence, "staff" has been mentioned, so I changed it to "they" to be coherent. And finally, "the week before May" also will take readers some time to know when they will take a test, so I changed it to "the last week in April".
    I made the following change:
    Please send Mackintosh Smith the names of the staff interested in by next Friday. They will take a test in the last week of April.
    What is your opinion? And besides these, are there any other problems in the memo? Thank you!
    Last edited by ziawj2; 28-Nov-2011 at 01:37.

  2. #2
    5jj's Avatar
    5jj is offline VIP Member
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Retired English Teacher
      • Native Language:
      • British English
      • Home Country:
      • England
      • Current Location:
      • Czech Republic
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Posts
    28,168
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default Re: questions about a memo

    Quote Originally Posted by ziawj2 View Post
    1. Department Managers
    Does "Division Managers" have the same meaning as "Department Managers"? Ifso, which one is more natural?
    Only people in your company can answer that. Who is Mackintosh writing to? Are they called 'Department Managers' or 'Division Managers' in your company?

    2. Please encourage your staff to attend one of the sessions.
    Are the words “groups” and “levels” more proper than “sessions”? Because “groups” and “levels” are menstioned above. Do you think so?
    What Mackintosh has written seems fine to me.

    3. Please send me the names of all interested staff by next Friday. These staff will take a test the week before May.
    I thought the word "me" would make readers feel puzzled because they had to look through back to find out who is "me", so I preferred changing it to the person's name.
    You don't seem to have much faith in your staff if you feel that they have already forgotten who the memo is from.

    In the previous sentence, "staff" has been mentioned, so I changed it to "they" to be coherent.
    Not necessary

    And finally, "the week before May" also will take readers some time to know when they will take a test, so I changed it to "the last week in April".

    OK, 'the last week in April' is clearer
    5

Similar Threads

  1. help with a memo?
    By english112.0 in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 10-Nov-2010, 05:06
  2. memo
    By Unregistered in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 07-May-2009, 16:27
  3. Memo
    By petr in forum Editing & Writing Topics
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 18-Mar-2008, 01:17
  4. memo
    By yuehshin in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 19-Nov-2007, 11:32
  5. memo
    By Unregistered in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 17-Jan-2007, 03:54

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •