Results 1 to 5 of 5

    • Join Date: Nov 2004
    • Posts: 145
    • Post Thanks / Like
    #1

    Two Captains - Part Two

    I am not going to tell you about those three days which we spent in the tundra in the immediate vicinity of the bank of Pyasina. It is one of the most traumatic recollections of my life and above all, it is a monotonous recollection. One hour was like another, another was like the third, and only the first minutes when we, somehow or other, had to fix the aircraft (because it would be blown away by a blizzard otherwise) did not repeat.
    Try doing this in the tundra without any vegetation, in the wind which reaches 10 points! Without killing the engine, we placed the aircraft so that its tail was facing the wind. I think we would have managed to dig it in but the wind carried the snow away as soon as we made an attempt to lift the shovel. The wind kept hurling the craft, therefore it was necessary to think of something faultless because the wind was picking up and it would be too late in half an hour. Then we did a simple thing (I recommend it to all polar pilots): we tied skis….. with a rope to the plane. There was a lot of snow around all these things in fifteen minutes.
    Now we had nothing else to do but to wait. It was not fun but it was the only thing we were able to do. To wait – no one knew how long.
    I have already mentioned the fact that we had all the necessary equipment for a forced landing. But what will you do, let’s say, with a tent once you are not in a cockpit? It is a difficult and agonizing thing to do, the one that you can decide to do only once a day, for it is simply necessary to get out of a cockpit once a day.
    Our fingers started to hurt before we managed to untie the shoelaces. Therefore, we had to untie them in three …* Snow knocked us to the ground, so we had to develop a special method of walking.

    *I mean that they succeeded in untiying them only for the third time. I can't think of the right word in English.
    Last edited by Flash; 22-Oct-2005 at 21:34.

    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • English Teacher
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: May 2005
    • Posts: 2,047
    • Post Thanks / Like
    #2

    Re: Two Captains - Part Two

    I like the simple words like tries or attempts.


    • Join Date: Nov 2004
    • Posts: 145
    • Post Thanks / Like
    #3

    Re: Two Captains - Part Two

    Thanks! What about the rest of the text? Is it ok?

    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • English Teacher
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: May 2005
    • Posts: 2,047
    • Post Thanks / Like
    #4

    Re: Two Captains - Part Two

    If you were a native English speaker and had written this essay, I would tell you that it is lacking a coherent narrative flow. There are no serious grammatical errors and your spelling and punctuation are acceptable. If this is for a school assignment, please follow your teacher's advise about how to structure your sentences so that they sound more like the natural speech of a native English speaker.

    If you would like more help from me, choose one or two sentences from your story and I'll give you some suggestions.


    • Join Date: Nov 2004
    • Posts: 145
    • Post Thanks / Like
    #5

    Re: Two Captains - Part Two

    I don't know what sentences to choose, so I think that I've gotten enough help from you. The most important for me is that there are no serious grammar errors in the text. I think that in order to make your writing look more like that of a native speaker you should work extremely hard. To my way of thinking, you can only achieve this if you're immersed in English.

    I don't have to hand in this essay/translation to any teacher. I did the translation just for myself. Anyway, thanks for the help.

    P.S. I'll try to make my future essays look more natural

Similar Threads

  1. advanced grammar problem - part 1 - help needed
    By forum_mail in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 22
    Last Post: 05-Sep-2005, 12:07
  2. this part of a fruit
    By Eway in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 08-Dec-2004, 06:12

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •