Results 1 to 4 of 4
  1. #1
    gauri_agr is offline Member
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Student or Learner
      • Native Language:
      • Hindi
      • Home Country:
      • India
      • Current Location:
      • United States
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Posts
    191
    Post Thanks / Like

    please edit this small piece of my letter

    Hi,

    I want to send this to my friends but not confident if I am able to write it properly. Please modify it....

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    My children who are 7 and 3 fight all day long. I got tired teaching them how to enjoy their time with each other without fight. It seems I have become an all time lecturer/instructor than a mom. I found a solution a few months ago. I started telling them bed-time stories in way they could laugh for what they generally fight for. It worked amazingly. I remind them about the story when they repeat it during the day. My children then laugh for what they are doing at that moment. I started to document them for other parents. Below is one of my stories. Please leave your comments
    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Thanks in Advance
    Gauri

  2. #2
    billmcd is offline Key Member
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • English Teacher
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Posts
    3,505
    Post Thanks / Like

    Re: please edit this small piece of my letter

    Quote Originally Posted by gauri_agr View Post
    Hi,

    I want to send this to my friends but not confident if I am able to write it properly. Please modify it....

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    My children who are 7 and 3 fight all day long. I got tired teaching them how to enjoy their time with each other without fighting. It seems I have become an all more a full-time lecturer/instructor than I have as a mom. I found a solution a few months ago. I started telling them bed-time stories in way they could laugh for what they generally fight for. It worked amazingly. I remind them about the story when they repeat it the conflict during the day. My children then laugh for what they are doing at that moment. I started to document them my approach for other parents. Below is one of my stories. Please leave your comments
    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Thanks in Advance
    Gauri
    Suggestions and congratulations.

  3. #3
    gauri_agr is offline Member
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Student or Learner
      • Native Language:
      • Hindi
      • Home Country:
      • India
      • Current Location:
      • United States
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Posts
    191
    Post Thanks / Like

    Re: please edit this small piece of my letter

    thanks a lot. I understand most of the correction and changes except the one below

    than I have as a mom....

    Why I have is being used here. for me I feel than as a mom seems to be perfect or its just the better way to say this.

  4. #4
    billmcd is offline Key Member
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • English Teacher
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Posts
    3,505
    Post Thanks / Like

    Re: please edit this small piece of my letter

    Quote Originally Posted by gauri_agr View Post
    thanks a lot. I understand most of the correction and changes except the one below

    than I have as a mom....

    Why I have is being used here. for me I feel than as a mom seems to be perfect or its just the better way to say this.
    You didnt use "than as". You posted "than a mom" which doesn't set up the comparison correctly. It is proper to use the verb "have" at both ends of the comparison.

Similar Threads

  1. [Grammar] 2 small paragraph need edit
    By 915557736 in forum Editing & Writing Topics
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 27-May-2010, 05:32
  2. Edit my small opinion piece, please.
    By Wandering in forum Editing & Writing Topics
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 01-May-2009, 01:25
  3. the opening paragraph of a letter - small or capital letter
    By Unregistered in forum Letter Writing
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 26-Jul-2007, 11:46
  4. please correct this piece of letter
    By tatu in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 28-Mar-2006, 06:22
  5. Okay, now please edit this small paragraph
    By NewHope in forum Editing & Writing Topics
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 26-Aug-2004, 01:56

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •