Here is my first blog for you to review

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tuebr

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Well,finally here I am with my poor English to start a new way. Just as writing the blog I think it is not so hard for me to form a style in writing English. It was really a cold today and I went out to the library to prepare for my toefl test, and the person I missed nearly lost in my mind. I am so admired of people who are optimistic with all the affairs and keep a childhood heart and I hope I will live there too to let my generations have that kind of character. I am still alone but I am not lonely. I don't know what kind of email my cousin will reply so I think before that I need to follow my heart to be a better me. I main when I first wrote a blog in Chinese it was pretty much like this. So my words maybe simple and are with lots of mistakes but that is me and my feeling. I will read more english books which I think is the best way to enhance my english writing.

I am here waiting for the ''trial'':cool::cool::cool:
Welcome everyone to visit my blog "tuebrcui"in livejournal and make comments :lol:Thank you ~
 

Raymott

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Well,finally here I am with my poor English to start a new way. Just as writing the blog I think it is not so hard for me to form a style in writing English. It was really a cold today and I went out to the library to prepare for my toefl test, and the person I missed nearly lost in my mind. I am so admired of people who are optimistic with all the affairs and keep a childhood heart and I hope I will live there too to let my generations have that kind of character. I am still alone but I am not lonely. I don't know what kind of email my cousin will reply so I think before that I need to follow my heart to be a better me. I main when I first wrote a blog in Chinese it was pretty much like this. So my words maybe simple and are with lots of mistakes but that is me and my feeling. I will read more english books which I think is the best way to enhance my english writing.

I am here waiting for the ''trial'':cool::cool::cool:
Welcome everyone to visit my blog "tuebrcui"in livejournal and make comments :lol:Thank you ~
So you've planned your blog to be pretty much just a demonstration of your bad English? Do you intend to branch out eventually, say, with some content?
 

Rover_KE

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If that's your first blog I can't see many rushing to read your second.
 

emsr2d2

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The piece needs a lot of corrections. However, I echo the others' sentiments. That's not a blog. That's like a child's diary "What I did today". If you want people to read your blog, you need to make it interesting, engaging, different.

There's no reason why you shouldn't start it with "So here I am writing my first blog post in English". However, it should then be followed with information perhaps about why exactly you want to write a blog, why you want to write it in English, mention other blogs you have read and found interesting.

The one sentence that sounded to me like it might lead somewhere interesting was "I am so admired of people who are optimistic with all the affairs and keep a childhood heart and I hope I will live there too to let my generations have that kind of character." Maybe you should make that the theme of an entire blog post. How do people stay optimistic in the face of adversity? How do they retain their childhood dreams?

Just in case you like the suggestion, I will give you my version of that one sentence - "I really admire people who remain optimistic about everything they do, and who retain a childlike, innocent outlook on life. I hope that I can pass on such characteristics to my children and future generations."

Really, telling us it was cold today and that you went to the library is not going to convince people to keep reading.
 

JohnParis

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hahaha can't you say that a little nicer

Tuebr asked us to "... make comments :lol:Thank you ~." In doing so, she/he was probably prepared to hear the best and the worst.

There is a very useful expression in English for someone that asks for comments but complains about their honesty.

"If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen."

Tueber got some excellent advice from emsr2d2 and my guess is that he/she is adult enough to accept it.
 

tuebr

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This blog is pretty much like a journal. It is just some feeling of myself without preparing for other people to read at first.So, it maybe a little dull. But I am still here to recive everyone's comments .Just let the storm heavier and I am fine with that.:shock::shock:
Thank you for all the comments :)
 
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