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  1. #1
    shakur is offline Newbie
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    Arrow hey, I am german and I have to write a application for school, could you help me ? ^^

    so this is the text i wrote :

    ------------------------------------------------


    Dear Ms Harris,

    I am writing this letter of the reason that i am planning to do a language course in oxford.I want to improve my Englisgh skills.

    I am 20 years old and I live in Germany, to be exact in Stadtlohn a small village next to the dutch border. I have studied English for 10 years and now I would like to visit the language course in Oxford, because a friend of mine told me that Oxford has one of the best English courses in the World and this is the reason why I want to apply. I am planning to stay for 3 weeks and I would like to have a room with one bed. I T WOULD BE GREAT IF i Could get breakfast,lunch and evening meal.

    My english level is intermediate so I understand English and speak english well. My interest are football, chess, theatre and going to the cinema with friend , but I also like studying history and English. Now I want to say something about my person, I would say that Iam a person who has his head in the clouds. I am an honest , energetic, friendly, helpful , polite person.

    Beforer I finish this letter, i have got some questions. COuld you possibly tell me how much it will cost per week to rent the room and how much will the food cost?

    I look forward to the reply.

    Your sincerely,
    abdul batiev




    -----------------------------


    what could i wrrite better, i thank you for the response

  2. #2
    billmcd is offline Key Member
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    Re: hey, I am german and I have to write a application for school, could you help me

    Quote Originally Posted by shakur View Post
    so this is the text i wrote :

    ------------------------------------------------


    Dear Ms. Harris,

    I am writing this letter of the reason that i am planning to do for the purpose of enrolling in a language course in at Oxford. I want to improve my Englisgh skills.

    I am 20 years old and I live in Stadtlohn, Germany, to be exact in Stadtlohn is a small village next to the Dutch border. I have studied English for 10 years and now I would like to visit the language course study English inat Oxford. because A friend of mine toldhas advised me that Oxford has one of the best English courses in the World and this is the reason why I want to apply. I am planning to stay for 3 weeks and I would like to have a room with one bed. And I would like the availability of breakfast,lunch and an evening meal.

    My english level is "intermediate" so I understand English and speak english well. My interests are football, chess, theatre and going to the cinema with friends , but I also like studying history and English. Now I want to say something about my person, I would say that I am a person who has his head in the clouds (WHY would you ever make a statement like this in an application for ANYTHING?). I am an honest , energetic, friendly, helpful and polite. person.
    [STRIKE]Beforer I finish this letter[/STRIKE], i have got some questions.In closing, could you possibly tell me how much it will cost per week to rent the room and how much will the food costs?

    I look forward to the reply.

    Your sincerely,
    abdul batiev




    -----------------------------


    what could i wrrite better, i thank you for the response
    And finally, what can you possibly learn in "3 weeks"?

  3. #3
    februar's Avatar
    februar is offline Member
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    Re: hey, I am German and I have to write an application for school, could you help me

    [QUOTE=shakur;832040]So this is the text I wrote:

    ------------------------------------------------


    Dear Ms Harris,

    I am writing this letter of the reason that as I am planning to do a language course in Oxford. I want to improve my English skills.

    I am 20 years old and I live in Germany, to be exact in Stadtlohn, a small village near the Dutch border. I have studied English for 10 years and now I would like to visit the language course in Oxford, because a friend of mine told me that Oxford has one of the best English schools in the world and this is the reason why I want to apply. I am planning to stay for 3 weeks and I would like to have a single room with one bed. IT WOULD BE GREAT IF I could get breakfast, lunch and evening meal.

    My English level is intermediate so I understand English and speak English well. My interests are football, chess, theatre and going to the cinema with friends, but I also like studying history and English. Now I want to say something about my character, I would say that I am a person who has his head in the clouds. I am an honest, energetic, friendly, helpful, and polite person.

    Before I finish this letter, I have got some questions. Could you possibly tell me how much it will cost per week to rent a single room and how much will the food cost?

    I look forward to the reply.

    Yours sincerely,
    abdul batiev

    What could I write better, I thank you for the response.

    februar, no teacher
    Last edited by februar; 13-Dec-2011 at 05:44. Reason: Better version by Shakur

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