[Essay] Pls help me correct it

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Butuha

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Are computers an essential feature of modern education? What subjects can be better taught using computers? Are there aspects of a good education that cannot be taught using computers?

The advent of computers has significantly refined many aspects of life, including education. While it is true that some subjects such as history, chemistry, geography ect are beneficial from the invention of personal computers, the others like moral lessons can not take advantage of them.

On the one hand, computers assists students to obtain knowlede at a more substantial level of many subjects via educational softwares. These containing lively sounds and vivid images seem to attract more students’ attention than bookish and merely boring lessons. History and literature which are regarded theoretical subjects in these days have become more appealing thanks to documentary films and rehearsals screened in computers. Furthermore, students can acknowledge chemical reactions in chemistry or phenomena in physics more manifestly on the grounds that they witness them from slide shows.

On the other hand, sceptics claim that it is moral lessons or logical subjects like mathematics that can not benefit from computers. Firstly, teaching students right conducts and approriate manners is the unreplaceable task of teacher – humans, not computers. Only teachers are qualified to assess whether students’ behviours are wrong or right or conceive their obstacles. What is more, to this day even the most highly advanced machines do not accomplish the mission of interpreting mathematic theories and equations to learners, let alone valuing students’ creative solutions to the problems.

In short, despite computers’ wide influence on many minutes of life, they can not take the whole responsibility of teaching all the subjects in the classroom, just several of them.
 

Gretchenplay

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Hello Butuha,
have made a few corrections. Good luck.

Are computers an essential feature of modern education? What subjects can be better taught using computers? Are there aspects of a good education that cannot be taught using computers?

The advent of computers has significantly refined many aspects of life, including education. While it is true that some subjects such as history, chemistry, geography etc. [STRIKE]are beneficial[/STRIKE] have benefited from the invention of personal computers, [STRIKE]the[/STRIKE] others, like moral lessons, can not take advantage of them.

On the one hand, computers assist[STRIKE]s[/STRIKE] students [STRIKE]to[/STRIKE] in obtaining knowlede at a more substantial level [STRIKE]of[/STRIKE] in many subjects via educational software[STRIKE]s[/STRIKE]. These contain[STRIKE]ing[/STRIKE] lively sounds and vivid images which seem to attract more students’ attention than boring bookish [STRIKE]and merely[/STRIKE] lessons. History and literature, which are regarded theoretical subjects [STRIKE]in[/STRIKE] these days, have become more appealing thanks to documentary films and rehearsals (what do you mean by rehearsals exactly?) screened [STRIKE]in[/STRIKE] on computers. Furthermore, students can acknowledge chemical reactions in chemistry or phenomena in physics more manifestly on the grounds that they witness them from slide shows (This is awkward. you may want to consider revising).

On the other hand, sceptics claim that it is moral lessons [STRIKE]or[/STRIKE] and logical subjects, like mathematics, that cannot (will not? do not?) benefit from computers. Firstly, teaching students right conduct[STRIKE]s[/STRIKE] and approriate manners is the unreplaceable task of teacher – humans, not computers. Only teachers are qualified to assess whether a student's behaviour [STRIKE]are[/STRIKE] is right or wrong, [STRIKE]or[/STRIKE] and to conceive their obstacles (?). What is more, to this day, even the most highly advanced machines do not accomplish the mission of interpreting mathematic theories and equations [STRIKE]to[/STRIKE] for learners, let alone valuing students’ creative solutions to the problems.

In short, despite the [STRIKE]wide[/STRIKE] broad influence of computers on many minutes (do you mean minutiae?) of life, they can not take the [STRIKE]whole[/STRIKE] responsibility of teaching all the subjects in the classroom, just several of them.
 

Butuha

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History and literature, which are regarded theoretical subjects in these days, have become more appealing thanks to documentary films and rehearsals (what do you mean by rehearsals exactly?) I mean dramasscreened in on computers. Furthermore, students can acknowledge chemical reactions in chemistry or phenomena in physics more manifestly on the grounds that they witness them from slide shows (This is awkward. you may want to consider revising). My idea is that students can understand chemical reactions in chemistry and phenomena in physics more clearly because of clips copying real phenomena. Can you correct it for me, pls?

, or and to conceive their obstacles (?). I mean understand students' difficulties

Tks very much. I'm just a newbie :D.
 
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