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  1. #1
    khanhhung2512 is offline Junior Member
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    Wink Three paragraphs describing three scenes

    Hi everyone.
    I'm beginning to study writing, so would anyone please check three following paragraphs for me?
    Code:
    There is a table with some objects on it. The 
    objects are for the office or for school. There 
    is a pencil, an eraser, a ruler, a pencil 
    sharpener and some paper.
    Code:
    This is a cocktail party with lots of people. 
    There are three men and three women. 
    They're all friends and are having fun. There 
    are talking and laughing a lot. They're 
    clinking their glasses and saying 'Cheers!'.
    Code:
    There are three women in the street. They 
    are thin and pretty. There is a blond woman, 
    a woman with fair hair and a woman with 
    brown hair. They look happy. They have 
    shopping bags.
    Thanks very much!
    Last edited by khanhhung2512; 25-Dec-2011 at 02:50.

  2. #2
    februar's Avatar
    februar is offline Member
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    Default Re: Three paragraphs describing three scenes

    [QUOTE=khanhhung2512;835747]Hi everyone.
    I'm beginning to study writing, so would anyone please check three following paragraphs for me?
    [code]
    There is a table with some objects on it. The
    objects are for the office or for school. There
    is a pencil, an eraser, a ruler, a pencil
    sharpener and some paper.

    This is a cocktail party with lots of people.
    There are three men and three women.
    They're They are all friends and are having fun. They
    are talking and laughing a lot. They're They are
    clinking their glasses and saying 'Cheers!'.

    There are three women in the street.
    They are thin and pretty. (Or: perhaps better “slim” – “thin” means people who might weigh less than they should)
    There is a blond woman,
    a woman with fair hair and a woman with
    brown hair. They look happy. They have are carrying
    shopping bags.

    februar, no teacher
    Last edited by februar; 25-Dec-2011 at 10:08.

  3. #3
    khanhhung2512 is offline Junior Member
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    Wink Re: Three paragraphs describing three scenes

    [QUOTE=februar;836070]
    Quote Originally Posted by khanhhung2512 View Post
    Hi everyone.
    I'm beginning to study writing, so would anyone please check three following paragraphs for me?
    [code]
    There is a table with some objects on it. The
    objects are for the office or for school. There
    is a pencil, an eraser, a ruler, a pencil
    sharpener and some paper.

    This is a cocktail party with lots of people.
    There are three men and three women.
    They're They are all friends and are having fun. They
    are talking and laughing a lot. They're They are
    clinking their glasses and saying 'Cheers!'.

    There are three women in the street.
    They are thin and pretty. (Or: perhaps better “slim” – “thin” means people who might weigh less than they should)
    There is a blond woman,
    a woman with fair hair and a woman with
    brown hair. They look happy. They have are carrying
    shopping bags.

    februar, no teacher
    There is a green wavy underline (Microsoft Office 2010 SP1) under the combination ’. in ‘Cheers!’., but I don't understand why.

  4. #4
    februar's Avatar
    februar is offline Member
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    Default Re: Three paragraphs describing three scenes

    [QUOTE=Gillnetter;836245]
    Quote Originally Posted by februar View Post
    Gil
    There are three men and three women.
    They're They are (They're is an acceptable contraction) all friends and are having fun. They
    are talking and laughing a lot. They're They are (They're)

    You are right, “they’re” is an acceptable form, but the paragraph begins with the long form, so I think it should be continued with the long one – either the long form or the short one, but not both of them.

    They "have" are carrying (To have is not the same as to carry. You changed the meaning by striking "have" and replacing it with "are carrying". I can have an automobile but this ownership does not indicate that I am carrying the automobile. In this case it is acceptable to say that they "have" shopping bags and the sense is that they are either carrying the bags or that the bags belong to them.)
    shopping bags.


    Concerning the shopping bags, Sorry, I shouldn’t have changed this sentence. But If I form a mental picture of the women in the street, it becomes so obvious to me that they are carrying the bags. That’s why I marked the words are carrying green not red.
    Last edited by februar; 26-Dec-2011 at 06:47.

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