Three paragraphs describing three scenes

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khanhhung2512

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Hi everyone.
I'm beginning to study writing, so would anyone please check three following paragraphs for me?
Code:
There is a table with some objects on it. The 
objects are for the office or for school. There 
is a pencil, an eraser, a ruler, a pencil 
sharpener and some paper.
Code:
This is a cocktail party with lots of people. 
There are three men and three women. 
They're all friends and are having fun. There 
are talking and laughing a lot. They're 
clinking their glasses and saying 'Cheers!'.
Code:
There are three women in the street. They 
are thin and pretty. There is a blond woman, 
a woman with fair hair and a woman with 
brown hair. They look happy. They have 
shopping bags.
Thanks very much!
 
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februar

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Hi everyone.
I'm beginning to study writing, so would anyone please check three following paragraphs for me?
Code:
[COLOR=black][FONT=Courier New]There is a table with some objects on it. The [/FONT][/COLOR]
[COLOR=black][FONT=Courier New]objects are for the office or for school. There [/FONT][/COLOR]
[COLOR=black][FONT=Courier New]is a pencil, an eraser, a ruler, a pencil [/FONT][/COLOR]
[COLOR=black][FONT=Courier New]sharpener and some paper.[/FONT][/COLOR]
 
[COLOR=black][FONT=Courier New]This is a cocktail party with lots of people. [/FONT][/COLOR]
[COLOR=black][FONT=Courier New]There are three men and three women. [/FONT][/COLOR]
[COLOR=black][FONT=Courier New][STRIKE][COLOR=black][FONT=Courier New]They're[/FONT][/COLOR][/STRIKE] [COLOR=seagreen]They are [/COLOR]all friends and are having fun. Th[/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=red][FONT=Courier New]ey[/FONT][/COLOR]
[COLOR=black][FONT=Courier New]are talking and laughing a lot. [STRIKE]They're[/STRIKE] [COLOR=seagreen]They are[/COLOR] [/FONT][/COLOR]
[COLOR=black][FONT=Courier New]clinking their glasses and saying 'Cheers!'.[/FONT][/COLOR]
 
[COLOR=black][FONT=Courier New]There are three women in the street. [/FONT][/COLOR]
[COLOR=black][FONT=Courier New]They are thin and pretty. [/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=#0070c0][FONT=Courier New](Or: perhaps better “slim” – “thin” means people who might weigh less than they should) [/FONT][/COLOR]
[COLOR=black][FONT=Courier New]There is a blond woman, [/FONT][/COLOR]
[COLOR=black][FONT=Courier New]a woman with fair hair and a woman with [/FONT][/COLOR]
[COLOR=black][FONT=Courier New]brown hair. They look happy. They [STRIKE]have[/STRIKE] [COLOR=seagreen]are carrying [/COLOR][/FONT][/COLOR]
[COLOR=black][FONT=Courier New]shopping bags.[/FONT][/COLOR]
 
[FONT=Courier New][COLOR=royalblue]februar, no teacher[/COLOR][/FONT]
 
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khanhhung2512

Member
Joined
Apr 26, 2011
Member Type
Student or Learner
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Vietnamese
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Hi everyone.
I'm beginning to study writing, so would anyone please check three following paragraphs for me?
Code:
[COLOR=black][FONT=Courier New]There is a table with some objects on it. The [/FONT][/COLOR]
[COLOR=black][FONT=Courier New]objects are for the office or for school. There [/FONT][/COLOR]
[COLOR=black][FONT=Courier New]is a pencil, an eraser, a ruler, a pencil [/FONT][/COLOR]
[COLOR=black][FONT=Courier New]sharpener and some paper.[/FONT][/COLOR]
 
[COLOR=black][FONT=Courier New]This is a cocktail party with lots of people. [/FONT][/COLOR]
[COLOR=black][FONT=Courier New]There are three men and three women. [/FONT][/COLOR]
[COLOR=black][FONT=Courier New][STRIKE][COLOR=black][FONT=Courier New]They're[/FONT][/COLOR][/STRIKE] [COLOR=seagreen]They are [/COLOR]all friends and are having fun. Th[/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=red][FONT=Courier New]ey[/FONT][/COLOR]
[COLOR=black][FONT=Courier New]are talking and laughing a lot. [STRIKE]They're[/STRIKE] [COLOR=seagreen]They are[/COLOR] [/FONT][/COLOR]
[COLOR=black][FONT=Courier New]clinking their glasses and saying 'Cheers!'.[/FONT][/COLOR]
 
[COLOR=black][FONT=Courier New]There are three women in the street. [/FONT][/COLOR]
[COLOR=black][FONT=Courier New]They are thin and pretty. [/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=#0070c0][FONT=Courier New](Or: perhaps better “slim” – “thin” means people who might weigh less than they should) [/FONT][/COLOR]
[COLOR=black][FONT=Courier New]There is a blond woman, [/FONT][/COLOR]
[COLOR=black][FONT=Courier New]a woman with fair hair and a woman with [/FONT][/COLOR]
[COLOR=black][FONT=Courier New]brown hair. They look happy. They [STRIKE]have[/STRIKE] [COLOR=seagreen]are carrying [/COLOR][/FONT][/COLOR]
[COLOR=black][FONT=Courier New]shopping bags.[/FONT][/COLOR]
 
[FONT=Courier New][COLOR=royalblue]februar, no teacher[/COLOR][/FONT][/QUOTE]

There is a green wavy underline (Microsoft Office 2010 SP1) under the combination [B][COLOR="Lime"]’.[/COLOR][/B] in [B][COLOR="Lime"]‘Cheers!’.[/COLOR][/B], but I don't understand why.
 

februar

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Interested in Language
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German
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Switzerland
Current Location
Switzerland

There are three men and three women.
They're They are (They're is an acceptable contraction) all friends and are having fun. They
are talking and laughing a lot. They're They are (They're)

You are right, “they’re” is an acceptable form, but the paragraph begins with the long form, so I think it should be continued with the long one – either the long form or the short one, but not both of them.

They "have" are carrying (To have is not the same as to carry. You changed the meaning by striking "have" and replacing it with "are carrying". I can have an automobile but this ownership does not indicate that I am carrying the automobile. In this case it is acceptable to say that they "have" shopping bags and the sense is that they are either carrying the bags or that the bags belong to them.)
shopping bags.


Concerning the shopping bags, Sorry, I shouldn’t have changed this sentence. But If I form a mental picture of the women in the street, it becomes so obvious to me that they are carrying the bags. That’s why I marked the words are carrying green not red.
 
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