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  1. #1
    learning54's Avatar
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    Default Please need short story correction

    Hi Teachers,

    Could you correct this story that I rewrote please? Is there a way to include the words 'bride' and 'groom' in this story? If there is, I'll appreciate very much if you could use those words inside the story.


    Tom and Susan got married yesterday morning. They had a wedding party yesterday afternoon with a lot of friends. Susanís parents were there and so were Tomís. Almost everybody drank champagne, ate cake, and had a good time. Only Tomís mother did not eat or drink very much because she became very emotional at the wedding party. Susanís father made a terrific speech.

    Thanks in advance
    Last edited by learning54; 28-Dec-2011 at 17:02.

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Please need short story correction

    Quote Originally Posted by learning54 View Post
    Hi Teachers,

    Could you correct this story that I rewrote please? Is there a way to include the words 'bride' and 'groom' in this story? If there is, I'll appreciate very much if you could use those words inside the story.


    Tom and Susan got married yesterday morning. They had the (or their) wedding party reception yesterday afternoon with a lot lots of friends. Susan’s parents were there and so were Tom’s. The bride's and the groom's parents were there. Almost everybody drank champagne, ate cake, and had a good time. Only Tom’s mother did not eat or drink very much because she became very emotional at the wedding party reception. Susan’s father made gave a terrific speech.

    Thanks in advance
    See above for my suggestions.

  3. #3
    learning54's Avatar
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    Default Re: Please need short story correction

    Quote Originally Posted by emsr2d2 View Post
    See above for my suggestions.
    Hi,
    Thank you so much for your time and correction! It is terrific.

    Best,
    Learning

  4. #4
    learning54's Avatar
    learning54 is offline Senior Member
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    Default Re: Please need short story correction

    Quote Originally Posted by Gillnetter View Post
    You could use "bride" and "groom" everyplace where both Tom and Susan were mentioned.
    Hi,
    Thank you so much for your time and correction too. It is great!

    Best,
    Learning

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