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  1. #1
    applecrisp2 is offline Newbie
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    Exclamation Please rate and help me with my essay! :)

    Hi im new here and im looking for some help so i get get an A+++ on my essay!

    Alright so im doing my essay on a book called "The Road" by Cormac Mccarthy. I need you to rate my essay on a scale of 1 - 10. Im also short 300 hundred words so PLEASE try to fill in some of it, edit it, do whatever you think will make it into a better essay. Also please help me develop a thesis statement for my novel. :) - thank you:





    In “The Road” by Cormac Mccarthy Love is necessary to survive. In a world that is cold and desolate all people have left is love for each other. But it seems that the only people in this novel that truly do love and car for each other are the man and the boy. They go through hell and back and meet many difficult challenges. How are the man and boy showing their love is the only love left in the world? Three points on how the man and the boy are the only ones who are left in the world who love each other. One; The man and boy encounter a road rat (66). Two; The man and boy hide from cannibals (113). Three; At the end of the novel when the father dies (281).

    The man and the boy love each other so much that they are inseparable. Throughout the entire novel the man and the boy are rarely separated and when they are they are not far from each other ever. Here is a quote I found interesting “If he is not the word of God, then God never spoke” (5). This shows that either (a) the man sees his son as a saint or (b) there is no god in this world. One part of the novel that I found interesting is when the man and boy encounter a “road rat” (66) along their travels. The man and the boy are hiding from a convoy of people. They hide in a forest near the convoy; however, one of the convoy members strays off into the forest to go to the washroom. As the man is going to the washroom the father of the son grabs his gun and points it at the road rat. He asked the road rat what the convoy had for supplies to see if anything he could take anything that would be useful. As the road rat replies to the man he notices that the man has a son. The road rat dove for the son. He comes up holding a knife to the son’s throat threatening to kill the son if the man doesn’t put his gun down. The man quickly aims and shoots the road rat in the head. With the gun shoot ringing out the whole convoy rushes to where they think the shot was fired, luckily, the man and boy are able to escape in time. The man is willing to do anything to ensure that the son is safe even if you have to jeopardize it sometimes. The father throughout the novel gives his son a sense of confidence and hope. Hope to get to a better place, hope to find food, hope to get to the coast line. No matter what they encounter along their travels they keep their head up high and hope for the best. They keep together and keep their love strong no matter what happens!

    Just under half way in the novel the man and the boy are near dying of starvation. The man and boy have no food and haven’t eaten in a few days. The man and the boy see a house that is still intact (very rarely are buildings intact). They have no choice so they have to see if any food is inside the house. As they look through the house the man notices that there is a door with a lock on it. The man and boy are starving so he has no choice but to open it up and look what’s inside. They snap the lock off and notice that there is stairs leading down into a dark abyss. The man cautiously goes down the stairs. He notices that the smell of death is in the air. As he reaches the bottom of the stairs he turns on his flashlight. To his surprise there are people who are holding each other naked. They are chained to the wall and treated as love stalk! The man quickly dashes up the stairs and tells his boy that they have to go and go quickly. The man looks out the window of the house and notices that the owners (six people) are walking back towards the house. The man and the son book it to the back door of the house and escape without being seen. The man is horrified of what he just witnessed. They hide in the forest near by, and the father gives the boy the gun and says if they are caught for the boy to kill himself. There is only one shot left in the gun and the man knows that if anyone is going to die a quick and painless death that it’s going to be the son. In a weird way this is the mans way of showing his love for his son. The man doesn’t want the son to be tortured then killed and eaten. His father is willing to go through all the pain and suffering just so the job doesn’t have too. That to me is one of the biggest ways anyone could ever truly show their love for someone.


    Throughout the novel the father shows his signs of love in a number of ways, for example; the father gives his son his first carbonated drink (35). They take a moment and relax and look around. Drinks of any type in this world are hard to come by, especially carbonated drinks! The man lets the boy have the whole can of coke to himself, the man hasn’t had had a drink in days. Yet, he lets the boy have the whole drink so the boy is able to fully enjoy the drink and not be as thirsty. Its little things in the novel that shape out and really show how much the father and son love each other.



    After the apocalypse the father has one goal in his life. That goal would be to protect and look after his son, to give his son hope in such a dull and dim world. Just before the father dies (281), he gives his son some advice and some encouragement to keep going on: “You need to go on, he said. I can’t go without you. You need to keep going. You don’t know what might be down that road. We were always lucky. You’ll see. Just go. It’s all right.” At this point in the novel the father dies of an illness, the son wonders what he is going to do. Luckily the son is picked up by a family that has been trailing the father and the boy for a while. To the boys surprise the family is inviting and takes the boy along their travels.


    In the novel the father tries to make the boy have hope along the boy’s travels. The father and the boy represent the only love in the world. In a world filled with thieves, kills, and cannibals there is some love. Throughout the man and boys travels, the father and the son still hold their bond. Even when the father is dead the boy still carries on the love.

  2. #2
    applecrisp2 is offline Newbie
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    Default Re: Please rate and help me with my essay! :)

    1. bump

  3. #3
    Gretchenplay is offline Newbie
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    Default Re: Please rate and help me with my essay! :)

    Hello there apple.
    Did you proof read your essay?? It seems to me you just sat down and wrote the first things that came into your head, and then posted. This is a rough draft at best.
    Below are a few things I suggest you think about. Please note the phrase in red - you have repeated this 14 times in your essay!! In green are grammatical/spelling errors.
    Hope this helps.






    In “The Road” by Cormac Mccarthy Love is necessary to survive. In a world that is cold and desolate all people have left is love for each other. But it seems that the only people in this novel that truly do love and car for each other are the man and the boy. They go through hell and back and meet many difficult challenges. How are the man and boy showing their love is the only love left in the world? Three points on how the man and the boy are the only ones who are left in the world who love each other. (sentence repetition) One; The man and boy encounter a road rat (66). Two; The man and boy hide from cannibals (113). Three; At the end of the novel when the father dies (281). (Why are you using semicolons? If you must list your main points then use colons).

    The man and the boy love each other so much that they are inseparable. Throughout the entire novel the man and the boy are rarely separated and when they are they are not far from each other
    ever (these two sentences repeat each other. Get rid of one of them). Here is a quote I found interesting “If he is not the word of God, then God never spoke” (5). This shows that either (a) the man sees his son as a saint or (b) there is no god in this world. One part of the novel thatI found interesting (you have repeated this twice, and I'm not convinced it is necessary once) is when the man and boy encounter a “road rat” (66) along their travels. The man and the boy are hiding from a convoy of people. They hide in a forest near the convoy; however, one of the convoy members strays off into the forest to go to the washroom. (really? A washroom in the forest?) As the man is going to the washroom the father of the son grabs his gun and points it at the road rat. He asked the road rat what the convoy had for supplies to see if anything he could take anything (?) that would be useful. As the road rat replies to the man he notices that the man has a son. The road rat (road rat, road rat, road rat, road rat, road rat - what exactly is a road rat?) dove for the son. He comes up holding a knife to the son’s throat threatening to kill the son if the man doesn’t put his gun down. The man quickly aims and shoots the road rat in the head. With the gun shoot ringing out the whole convoy (convoy, convoy, convoy, convoy, convoy) rushes to where they think the shot was fired, luckily, the man and boy are able to escape in time. The man is willing to do anything to ensure that the son is safe even if you have to jeopardize it (what does it refer to here?) sometimes. The father throughout the novel gives his son a sense of confidence and hope. Hope to get to a better place, hope to find food, hope to get to the coast line. No matter what they encounter along their travels they keep their head up high and hope for the best. They keep together and keep their love strong no matter what happens! (Again we have two sentences that repeat each other. Remove one, or amalgamate.)

    Just under half way in the novel the man and the boy are near dying of starvation. The man and boy have no food and haven’t eaten in a few days.
    (repetition again). The man and the boy see a house that is still intact (very rarely are buildings intact). They have no choice so they have to see if any food is inside the house. As they look through the house the man notices that there is a door with a lock on it. The man and boy are starving so he has no choice (repetition. And why exactly do they have no choice?) but to open it up and look what’s inside. They snap the lock off and notice that there is stairs leading down into a dark abyss. The man cautiously goes down the stairs. He notices that the smell of death is in the air. As he reaches the bottom of the stairs (stairs, stairs, stairs) he turns on his flashlight. To his surprise there are people who are holding each other naked. They are chained to the wall and treated as love stalk! (love stalk?? Do you mean live stock?) The man quickly dashes up the stairs and tells his boy that they have to go and go quickly. The man looks out the window of the house and notices that the owners (six people) are walking back towards the house. The man and the son book it (what does this mean) to the back door of the house and escape without being seen. The man is horrified of what he just witnessed. They hide in the forest near by, and the father gives the boy the gun and says if they are caught for the boy to kill himself. There is only one shot left in the gun and the man knows that if anyone is going to die a quick and painless death that it’s going to be the son. In a weird way this is the mans way of showing his love for his son. The man doesn’t want the son to be tortured then killed and eaten. His father is willing to go through all the pain and suffering just so the job doesn’t have too (??). That to me is one of the biggest ways anyone could ever truly show their love for someone.


    Throughout the novel the father shows his signs of love in a number of ways, for example; the father gives his son his first carbonated drink (35). They take a moment and relax and look around. (This sentence adds nothing to the essay). Drinks of any type in this world are hard to come by, especially carbonated drinks! The man lets the boy have the whole can of coke to himself, the man hasn’t had had a drink in days. Yet, he lets the boy have the whole drink so the boy is able to fully enjoy the drink and not be as thirsty. (Again you are repeating sentences) Its little things in the novel that shape out and really show how much the father and son love each other.



    After the apocalypse (Why have you waited until now to mention the apocalypse? This should have been explained at the beginning of your essay) the father has one goal in his life. That goal would be to protect and look after his son, to give his son hope in such a dull and dim world. Just before the father dies (281), he gives his son some advice and some encouragement to keep going on: “You need to go on, he said. I can’t go without you. You need to keep going. You don’t know what might be down that road. We were always lucky. You’ll see. Just go. It’s all right.” At this point in the novel the father dies of an illness, the son wonders what he is going to do. Luckily the son is picked up by a family that has been trailing the father and the boy for a while. To the boys surprise the family is inviting and takes the boy along their travels.
    Last edited by Gretchenplay; 03-Jan-2012 at 10:22.

  4. #4
    applecrisp2 is offline Newbie
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    Default Re: Please rate and help me with my essay! :)

    Thank you very much! This is just what i need :).

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