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  1. #11
    GKanka is offline Newbie
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    Default Re: Which is correct?

    Thank you for helpful advice. You are right about the simplicity and the use of "the." The former is mainly because of my lack of experience in English writing. As for a valuable possibility, I still think it is not ambiguous just because choosing, we estimate possibilities by the value of the results that can follow them, so saying a valuable possibility, I think, suggests the same idea. Anyhow, all critical comments sent to me are important for me to understand "where I am" in my English writing.
    Last edited by GKanka; 02-Jan-2012 at 21:05.

  2. #12
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    Barb_D is offline Moderator
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    Default Re: Which is correct?

    Well, you write like people who speak English as a native language but who have not left the towers of academia in a long time. I wouldn't know it wasn't written by a native English speaker doing their doctoral thesis.
    I'm not a teacher, but I write for a living. Please don't ask me about 2nd conditionals, but I'm a safe bet for what reads well in (American) English.

  3. #13
    philo2009 is offline Key Member
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    Default Re: Which is correct?

    Quote Originally Posted by GKanka View Post
    Hi

    and Happy new year.
    Could you explain to me which is more correct, if any, the adoption of institutions by other cultures in doing so establishes an indicator of their relative progressiveness or the adoption of institutions in doing so by other cultures establishes an indicator of their relative progressiveness. Could you also specify the grammatical function of the colored parts of the sentence? Thank you for your help in advance.
    Both the red and green parts are, in terms of structure, prepositional phrases and, in terms of function, adverbial.

    The green phrase, however, makes little sense in this context. I suspect you mean something like 'in and of itself'.

  4. #14
    GKanka is offline Newbie
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    Smile Re: Which is correct?

    Quote Originally Posted by philo2009 View Post

    The green phrase, however, makes little sense in this context. I suspect you mean something like 'in and of itself'.
    Thank you for the useful comment. This is the complete sentence A valuable possibility of accomplishing the universal goal additionally forms the essential condition for historical progress, whereas the adoption of institutions in doing so by other cultures establishes an indicator of their relative historical progressiveness. By the green phrase, I mean in accomplishing the universal goal additionally.

    As a tip to it, I use the following sentence found in a dictionary--...that are emphasized in varying degrees by different authors. Does the explanation make a difference?

    I have noticed that adverbs often precede the prepositional phrase by + the agent of action; is there some general rule governing the case?
    Last edited by GKanka; 04-Jan-2012 at 18:58.

  5. #15
    GKanka is offline Newbie
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    Default Re: Which is correct?

    Quote Originally Posted by Barb_D View Post
    Well, you write like people who speak English as a native language but who have not left the towers of academia in a long time. I wouldn't know it wasn't written by a native English speaker doing their doctoral thesis.

    The only sources of my English acquisition are academic reading and dictionaries, so you are right about the towers. In any case, for me, your replay sounds as a great compliment. Thank you. I also agree with your idea about the academics pursuing complexity. Behind it, they often try to hide that they in fact have very little to say.
    Last edited by GKanka; 04-Jan-2012 at 19:08.

  6. #16
    Barb_D's Avatar
    Barb_D is offline Moderator
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    Default Re: Which is correct?

    Quote Originally Posted by GKanka View Post
    . Often, they try to hide behind it that they in fact have very little to say.
    Something I've long suspected.
    I'm not a teacher, but I write for a living. Please don't ask me about 2nd conditionals, but I'm a safe bet for what reads well in (American) English.

  7. #17
    RobMasters is offline Junior Member
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    Default Re: Which is correct?

    Quote Originally Posted by bhaisahab View Post
    It's not very clear.
    A soft way of saying nobody can understand it!

  8. #18
    RobMasters is offline Junior Member
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    Default Re: Which is correct?

    Quote Originally Posted by Barb_D View Post
    Consider breaking your sentences into smaller ones.


    I'm having a hard time seeing how a possibility is valuable. The result it can achieve can be valuable.

    By saying "additionally" there is obviously something else, but you use "the" which implies only one. I assume your reader knows what the universal goal is?

    The "in donig so" is simply wrong there.

    I don't know why people strive for "academic" writing. It's obscure and often almost impossible to understand. Simplicity does not sound stupid and it improves clarity.
    Seconded.

  9. #19
    RobMasters is offline Junior Member
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    Default Re: Which is correct?

    Quote Originally Posted by GKanka View Post
    Hi

    and Happy new year.
    Could you explain to me which is more correct, if any, the adoption of institutions by other cultures in doing so establishes an indicator of their relative progressiveness or the adoption of institutions in doing so by other cultures establishes an indicator of their relative progressiveness. Could you also specify the grammatical function of the colored parts of the sentence? Thank you for your help in advance.
    I'm struggling to understand what on earth you are taking about. Let's go a bit at a time.

    "the adoption of institutions by other cultures"
    Cultures that adopt role-model institutions . . . for some reason

    ("īn doing so" is confusing.)

    . . . establishes an indication of . . . their erm . . . relative progressiveness.

    in doing so establishes an indicator of their relative progressiveness or the adoption of institutions in doing so by other cultures establishes an indicator of their relative progressiveness


    Right then. You're saying that Institutions in some cultures try to look good by copying established institutions in other places.?

    (Ever thought of applying for a job at The Pentagon?)

    Better: Īn some cultures there are institutions which try to appear competent by emulating the already-established progressive format of institutions in other countries.

    Why not just say this - if it is what you're trying to say! It's still hard to work it out!

    R

    Is that it?

    But it makes me wonder why you say "cultures" and not countries" . . . what distinction do you intend to make? This is hard work.
    Last edited by RobMasters; 05-Jan-2012 at 20:27.

  10. #20
    GKanka is offline Newbie
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    Default Re: Which is correct?

    Quote Originally Posted by RobMasters View Post
    I'm struggling to understand what on earth you are taking about. Let's go a bit at a time.

    [1] "the adoption of institutions by other cultures"
    Cultures that adopt role-model institutions . . . for some reason

    ("īn doing so" is confusing.)

    . . . establishes an indication of . . . their erm . . . relative progressiveness.

    in doing so establishes an indicator of their relative progressiveness or the adoption of institutions in doing so by other cultures establishes an indicator of their relative progressiveness


    [2] Right then. You're saying that Institutions in some cultures try to look good by copying established institutions in other places.?

    (Ever thought of applying for a job at The Pentagon?)

    [3] Better: Īn some cultures there are institutions which try to appear competent by emulating the already-established progressive format of institutions in other countries.

    Why not just say this - if it is what you're trying to say! It's still hard to work it out!

    R

    Is that it?

    [4] But it makes me wonder why you say "cultures" and not countries" . . . what distinction do you intend to make? This is hard work.
    Thank you for your efforts to make my work better, but not this was my interest, which should be evident from my writing cited by you, when I opened the thread.

    Anyhow, 1 the adoption of institutions from another culture is normal characteristic of a cultural process known also as cultural diffusion. As for a reason of the adoption indeed, it is among the central topics of my research but not of the thread.

    2 I have nor said nor even thought of like idea. How you can discuss the context of work through an incomplete sentence of it (the more complete version you could find on this page}? You also happened not to be prophetic regarding my interest in the Pentagon.

    3 You are about what cultures want to "export," while I am chiefly about what is the necessary reason to import them by other cultures.

    4 the principal reason is that using the word country introduces geographical--space-- connotations, extraneous for my research of culture.

    Are the replies considerable, as well as my English understandable, enough now
    Last edited by GKanka; 06-Jan-2012 at 15:12.

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