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    #1

    Post ielts - people dont like change

    hello,i'm going to take the ielts test.Could you please evaluate my essay in term of its structure,grammar and fulfillment for me ? and which band could i get with this essay (0-> 9)

    thanks

    ...

    topic :
    People naturally resist making changes in their lives.What kind of problem can this causes ? what solutions can you suggest ?

    essay : (260 words)



    Like any issue,change has its 2 faces like the 2-edged sword,however,because of some scares people usually think about the drawback of its.That leads to the matter that some people do not want to have modification in their life even if it is necessary.And that is the source of many problems.

    The reasons why some people detest change are various and varied.For instance,some individuals are used to a certain style of life,especially the olds.Moreover,some one might keep in their mind defensive thinkings or some old-fashioned rules which make them follow the old tracks in doing anything as a habit.Being scared by some unsure modifications is also a typical reason.They may have to change their job,their environment to live in e.t.c if the innovation happen.

    Although reasons are many,the result seem to be only.Getting bored in life is an obvious consequence,people might have the feeling of safety,but along with it is boring.More serious,if people don't accept new things to update themselves,they will out of steps with the times.Day by day,these ones will become lonely and useless in the society.
    From my point of view,people should be flexible and active.Each individual should open their mind to receive new things.Avoiding negative changes is necessary, but accepting positive alternations is also requisite.We canít deny the essential of change.People should think about the benefits of innovation even if they have to accept a reasonable risk.So that,evaluating pros and cons when according something new is very important.
    In conclusion, I want to reemphasize the need of alternation in our life. Because humankind cannot develop without the innovations.

  1. februar's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: ielts - people dont like change

    [QUOTE=besmile;841137]hello,i'm going to take the ielts test.Could you please evaluate my essay in term of its structure,grammar and fulfillment for me ? and which band could i get with this essay (0-> 9)

    thanks

    ...

    topic :
    People naturally resist making changes in their lives. What kinds of problems can this cause? What solutions can you suggest?

    essay : (260 words)


    (Leave a space after the punctuation marks! - I did it here)
    Like any other issue, a change has its two faces like the double-edged sword, however, because of some scares people usually think about the drawback of it. That leads to the matter that some people do not want to undergo a modification in their lives even if it is necessary. And that is the source of many problems.

    The reasons why some people detest changes are various and varied. For instance, some individuals are used to a certain style of life, especially the older ones. Moreover, some of them might keep in their mind on defensive thinking or some old-fashioned rules which make them follow the old tracks in doing everything as usual. Being scared by some unsure modifications is also a typical reason. They may have to change their job or their familiar surroundings they live in etc. if the innovation happens.

    Although reasons are many, the result seems to be only (What do you mean?). Getting bored in life is an obvious consequence even though, people might have the feeling of safety, but along with it life is boring. More serious, if people don't open to new things, they will not be able to move with the times. From day to day, these ones will become lonely and useless in the society.
    From my point of view, people should be flexible and active. Each individual should open their mind to receive new things. Avoiding negative changes is necessary, but accepting positive alternations is also the first requisite to success. We canít deny the importance of changes. People should think about the benefits of innovations even if they have to accept a reasonable risk. So, that evaluating pros and cons when planning something new is very important.
    In conclusion, I want to reemphasize once again the need of alternation in our lives. Fact is that humankind cannot develop without any innovations.
    februar, no native member

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    #3

    Re: ielts - people dont like change

    Thank you very much for your help. I have got some important notices for my next essay.
    Thanks

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    #4

    Re: ielts - people dont like change

    Quote Originally Posted by besmile View Post
    Thank you very much for your help. I have got some important notices for my next essay.
    Thanks
    What do you mean by notices? Tips?

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    #5

    Re: ielts - people dont like change

    I mean through these drafts i know what issues i have to pay more attention.And i consider them as tips

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    #6

    Re: ielts - people dont like change

    Yes, tips or pointers. Not notices.

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    #7

    Re: ielts - people dont like change

    Quote Originally Posted by tedtmc View Post
    What do you mean by notices? Tips?

    Excuse me, I have the question that why do you ask me this question ? Is it because of meaning or the polite standard ? When i was In high school, my teacher usually said that "here are some notices for your homework" and up to now have used it very frequently.
    I usually use the word "notices" in writing so please help me to make it clear because other people have other respondents when hearing it from me. Should i change to another word to use ?
    Thank you very much.

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    #8

    Re: ielts - people dont like change

    Quote Originally Posted by besmile View Post
    Excuse me, I have the question that why do you ask me this question ? Is it because of meaning or the polite standard ? When i was In high school, my teacher usually said that "here are some notices for your homework" and up to now have used it very frequently.
    I usually use the word "notices" in writing so please help me to make it clear because other people have other respondents when hearing it from me. Should i change to another word to use ?
    Thank you very much.
    besmile
    I have not heard of the word 'notices' used that way before. You can check the different meanings of the word in the dictionary: Notice | Define Notice at Dictionary.com
    If you are talking about homework, I would say 'comments' would be more appropriate.
    Last edited by tedtmc; 09-Jan-2012 at 17:02.

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