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    #1

    Could you correct my English?

    This is an IELTS writing article. Could you please correct my English? Thank you in advance!

    Topic:
    Most people think that teachers should teach students how to judge right and wrong and how to behave well. Some feel that people should just teach students academic subject. Please discuss these two views and give your opinion. Please give relevant cases or experience.

    Essay:
    There is a debate on whether teachers should only teach students academic knowledge provided by book. And lot of people hold the opinion that teachers also have the responsibility of teaching students judge right and wrong. Personally, an outstanding education could not exist without giving students moral teaching.

    There is no doubt that teachers’ major duty is impart knowledge which will enable students to complete their job. But the ability to judge right and wrong is equally helpful in their future working. Some people go to extreme to claim, teachers need not to teach anything that do not concern the academic knowledge. In fact, you could not blame a teacher who has imparted all the things included in book, for it is their entire job comes in light.

    A staff will not be fired if he had accomplished its own job, but staffs who love their jobs will do better than just OK. Students will have more competitive strength and do more contribution for society if their teachers teach them how to behavior better. Furthermore the judgment of right and wrong will urge them be good and honest. It is not a strange thing that the people have highly technical knowledge become the villain. Could you honestly say “this have no relation of the education”?

    We could not blame teacher who just teach the academic knowledge, but an excellent education must give more than it. School is not only a place to sell knowledge but “produce” people have correct values and world outlook.

    (253 words)

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    #2

    Re: Could you correct my English?

    I really do not have much to say as I think there isn't much to be said. However,I have one or two recommendations.

    'judging right and wrong'... I would have preferred 'differentiating right from wrong'

    'teachers' major duty is impart knowledge'... I think '... is to impart knowledge' sounds better.
    '...need not to teach anything that do not concern the academic knowledge'...why not say it this way: '...need not teach anything that does not concern academics'
    '...imparted all the things included in book'... I think 'taught' should replace 'imparted' here and 'book' should read 'books'. You really do not impart what is in books...you teach it. Infact,it is the positive effect of teaching/giving that is called impartation.

    Have a blissful year 2012!

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    #3

    Re: Could you correct my English?

    Quote Originally Posted by Arronjjyy View Post
    This is an IELTS writing article. Could you please correct my English? Thank you in advance!

    Topic:
    Most people think that teachers should teach students how to judge right and wrong and how to behave well. Some feel that people should just teach students academic subject. Please discuss these two views and give your opinion. Please give relevant cases or experience.

    Essay:
    There is a debate on whether teachers should only teach students academic knowledge provided by books. And A lot of people hold the opinion that teachers also have the responsibility of teaching students judge right and wrong. Personally, an outstanding education could not exist without giving students moral teaching.
    ('Outstanding education' and 'exist' could be better worded. You could say, 'I feel/think education is incomplete without including the teaching of morals.')

    There is no doubt that teachers’s major duty is to impart knowledge which will enable students to complete their job (syllabus/syllabii). But the ability to judge right and wrong is equally helpful(important) in their future working (in their future life). Some people go to the extreme to claim that teachers need not to teach anything that does not concern the academic knowledge. In fact, you could not blame a teacher who has imparted all the things included in books, for it is their entire job comes in light main job

    [SIZE=3]A staff will not be fired dismissed if he had accomplished its own job has done his job, but staffs who love their jobs will do better than just OK be more likely to excel. Students will have more competitive strength (better prepared)and do more contribution for contribute more to society if their teachers teach them how to behavior behave better. Furthermore the judgment of right and wrong will urge encourage/spur them to be good and honest. It is not a strange thing unusual that the people have highly technical knowledge who are highly educated become the villain turn out to be a villains. Could you honestly say “this have no relation of the education is has nothing to do with their education”?[/SIZE]

    We could cannot blame the teacher who just teach the impart academic knowledge, but an excellent education must give more than it should cover more. The school is not only a place only to sell impart knowledge but also to educate people to have correct values and world outlook.

    (253 words)
    .

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    #4

    Re: Could you correct my English?

    Quote Originally Posted by rhapsomatrics View Post
    I really do not have much to say as I think there isn't much to be said. However,I have one or two recommendations.

    'judging right and wrong'... I would have preferred 'differentiating right from wrong'

    'teachers' major duty is impart knowledge'... I think '... is to impart knowledge' sounds better.
    '...need not to teach anything that do not concern the academic knowledge'...why not say it this way: '...need not teach anything that does not concern academics'
    '...imparted all the things included in book'... I think 'taught' should replace 'imparted' here and 'book' should read 'books'. You really do not impart what is in books...you teach it. Infact,it is the positive effect of teaching/giving that is called impartation.

    Have a blissful year 2012!
    Thank you for your recommendations! And happy New Year!

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    #5

    Re: Could you correct my English?

    Quote Originally Posted by tedtmc View Post
    .
    Tedtmc, thank you for helping me again!!!

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    #6

    Re: Could you correct my English?

    Quote Originally Posted by tedtmc View Post
    .
    I think 'without including' is one-word too long. Why not simply say 'without'...'education is incomplete without...'

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    #7

    Re: Could you correct my English?

    Quote Originally Posted by rhapsomatrics View Post
    I think 'without including' is one-word too long. Why not simply say 'without'...'education is incomplete without...'
    I agree with you, the word could be dropped. The topic discussed is whether the teaching of morals should be included in the school curriculum.
    BTW, comments on my corrections are welcome.

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