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  1. #1
    lanatsotsoria is offline Newbie
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    Default Prolems with topics

    Hi, I know you don't check homeworks but this topic I wrote during class and teacher has already checked it .I'm curious which mistakes she has missed, and also can you give me advices on how to write a decent topic ?Thaks in advance.I really appreciate your help:)) Theme of the topic was: " Some people think that using electric heater is better than gas heater .Do you agree or disagree with this opinion? State your opinion and support it with reasons and examples ."
    There many different ways to protect yourself from cold.You can put on winter clouthes ,but the best is to get an electric or gas heater.
    Basically, most people use one of the two above mentioned heaters.People choose heaters depending on which one is cheaper, beacause It's hard to deal with a huge bill in the end of a month.Besides costs, people consider safety issues as well.As we know, gas heaters are quite dangerous.If not attached properly gas won't burn wholy and will lead to the poisoning or even death.On the other hand, an electric heater is safer.If you don't leave It beside easily flaming things,of course.
    Anyway,if we compare an electric and a gas heater, in safety an electric heater has an advantage .
    Thus, I agree with the idea that people using an electric heater is better than gas heater.Meanwhile gas heaters are very popular and convenient and the fact is that many people are using them and ironicly me as well.( She said I had to write like me as well )

  2. #2
    SlickVic9000's Avatar
    SlickVic9000 is offline Senior Member
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    Default Re: Prolems with topics

    (Not a Teacher)



    "Some people think that using an electric heater is better than using a gas heater."

    "There are many different ways to protect yourself from the cold."

    "You can put on winter clothes..." (no "u" in "clothes")

    "..., but the best solution is to get an electric or gas heater." ("best" needs to describe something)

    "...because it's hard to deal with a huge bill at the end of the month."

    "If not attached properly, the gas won't burn wholly and will lead to the carbon monoxide poisoning or even death. (It sounds better if you specify what kind of poisoning you're talking about.)

    "If you don't leave it beside highly flammable things, of course."

    "..., the electric heater has an advantage in safety." (I rearranged the sentence and added a "the")

    "Thus, I agree with the idea that people using an that electric heaters are better than gas heaters."

    "Meanwhile However, gas heaters are more popular and convenient. The fact of the matter is that most people use gas heaters, myself included, ironically." (I rewrote these two sentences to make them sound more natural)
    Last edited by SlickVic9000; 09-Mar-2012 at 04:59.

  3. #3
    Raymott's Avatar
    Raymott is offline VIP Member
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    Default Re: Prolems with topics

    Also, do try to space your punctuation correctly. Your paragraphs look ugly without even reading them.

    clothes ,but - Wrong
    clothes,but -Wrong
    clothers , but - Wrong
    clothes, but - Right.
    Remember: word, punctuation mark, space, word.
    People do notice. It's so simple to learn, and after you do it a few times it becomes automatic.
    Last edited by Raymott; 17-Feb-2012 at 13:13.

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