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  1. #1
    katisss is offline Newbie
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    IELTS GT writing

    I made 7 in the writing section on my first attempt to do IELTS but really need 8.
    So any critique ist welcome.

    Topic
    Some people believe that visitors to other countries should follow local customs and behaviour. Others disagree and think that the host country should welcome culture differences. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.


    It has been claimed that visitors should adher to locals customs while staying in a foreign country. Others argue that host countries can be expected to show some openness and tolerance towards visitors behaviour being different from local habits.
    This essay will look at some of the arguments in favour and against visitors following local customs while staying abroad.

    There are many reasons why visitors should try to behave like locals.
    First of all visitors can easily avoid conflicts and express respect for locals and their cultural and religious feelings by behaving like them. Probably the most obvious examples are for tourists to avoid drinking alcohol, wearing revelling clothing and kissing in public if locals consider this behaviour inappropriate.

    Nowadays globalisation and tourism already have heavily impacted local customs and traditions so differences between many countries have been evened out. It can be vital for the survival of local customs and traditions that visitors respect them and show some interest.

    In addition visitors are more likely to gain insight into a host county and it’s culture by following local customs. Even if they do not know the details culture their behaviour can show interest and locals are probably more welcoming towards visitors behaving sensible.

    On the other hand I don‘t think visitors can or should follow local customs in any case.
    With cultural difference often being subtle visitors might simply lack knowledge about the local customs. Certainly language barriers, lack of time or interest contribute to keeping visitors from having detailed knowledge of what is considered adequate behaviour. Furthermore if visitors try to imitate a local custom in a dilettantish way it can come across as respect less and inadequate.

    Generally some aspect of local customs might clash with the visitors expectations of their stay or holidays in the host country. It is clear that not being able to wear a bikini in public will probably conflict with visitors coming to a country for a beach holiday.

    Another point is a host country might profit significantly from tourists vesting and it is reasonable to expect some degree of tolerance and openness towards visitors from the local population.

    In summary after considering both point of views i think visitors should make a basic effort to adapt their behaviour in a way that does not conflict with local customs in a foreign country to make their stay more enjoyable for themselves and locals. This might not always be possible or desirable for the visitors so there are times when visitors are better off to follow their own customs.

  2. #2
    Gretchenplay is offline Newbie
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    Re: IELTS GT writing

    Hi Katisss,
    your essay is not bad at all!
    I have made some suggestions below.
    Much luck.


    It has been claimed that visitors should adhere to local customs while staying in a foreign country. Others argue that host countries should be expected to show some openness and tolerance towards visitors' behaviour being different from local habits. (this is a bit awkward. You might want to reword it)
    This essay will look at some of the arguments for and against visitors following local customs while staying abroad.

    There are many reasons why visitors should try to behave like locals.
    First of all visitors can easily avoid conflict and express respect for locals and their cultural and religious feelings by behaving like them. Probably the most obvious examples are for tourists to avoid drinking alcohol, wearing revealing clothing and kissing in public if locals consider this behaviour inappropriate.

    Nowadays Globalisation and tourism already have impacted heavily upon local customs and traditions, and differences between many countries have been evened out (this doesn't sound right to me). It can be vital for the survival of local customs and traditions that visitors respect them and show some interest.

    In addition visitors are more likely to gain insight into a host county and its culture by following local customs. Even if they do not know the details of the culture, their behaviour can show interest and locals are probably more welcoming towards visitors behaving sensibly.

    On the other hand I don‘t think visitors can or should follow local customs in every case. With cultural difference often being subtle, visitors might simply lack knowledge about the local customs. Certainly language barriers, lack of time or interest contribute to keeping visitors from having detailed knowledge of what is considered adequate (acceptable?) behaviour. Furthermore if visitors try to imitate a local custom in a dilettantish (superficial?) way it can come across as respect less (disrespectful?) and inadequate.

    Generally some aspects of local customs might clash with the visitors' expectations of their stay or holiday in the host country. It is clear that not being able to wear a bikini in public will probably cause problems for visitors coming to a country for a beach holiday.

    Another point is a host country might profit significantly from tourists, vesting and so it is reasonable to expect some degree of tolerance and openness towards visitors from the local population.

    In summary, after considering both points of view, i think visitors should make a basic effort to adapt their behaviour in a way that does not conflict with local customs in a foreign country to make their stay more enjoyable for themselves and locals. However this might not always be possible or desirable for the visitors, so there are times when visitors are better off to following their own customs.

  3. #3
    katisss is offline Newbie
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    Re: IELTS GT writing

    Thanks for the feedback, i will have a closer look.

    So this time a classic topic:
    Will modern technology, such as the internet ever replace the book or the written word as the main source of information?


    Over the last years we have seen digital and online versions of newspapers and books emerge and the popularity of reading devices like digital readers and iPads skyrocket. This development brings up the question whether digital word media is likely to replace print media as the primary information source at some point. In my opinion it is likely to happen soon as digital media has some strong advantages over traditional printed books and newspapers.

    The main reason for my opinion is that publishing information in digital media is a lot cheaper, easier, faster and they potentially reache a worldwide audience. For example news in the internet can be immediately updated if any new events occur and scientific and technical publications can include the latest research and error corrections.
    On top of this, as publishing costs for digital media are lower, more people are able to contribute to publications and even publishing of highly specialised information for smaller audiences may become worthwhile.

    Likewise readers can access a nearly unlimited amount of current information world wide and with great ease and speed.
    Since search engines provide powerful shortcuts for retrieving information a search that would have been very time consuming in printed media can now be performed faster and quicker. Additionally, even people that live in remote locations without major libraries or bookstores are no longer disadvantaged in accessing information.

    Another less obvious benefit of digital media is reducing paper consumption which will ultimately benefit the environment. Producing paper requires cutting trees, consumes energy and requires physical distribution of the finished publication as end up being waste. There is a potential for making the process more environment friendly by publishing content digitally, especially for short lived publications like newspapers.

    All in all, with digital media offering huge advantages, i expect people to read more in electronic format than paper format in the near future. However, in my opinion printed media will still have it’s place for leisure reading, art and café table books or information that is unlikely to change very quickly. Personally I believe this shift is nothing to be afraid off as it will benefit authors and readers alike as well as the environment.

  4. #4
    katisss is offline Newbie
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    Re: IELTS GT writing

    Another one ...
    Topic (problems solution essay)
    In some countries young people have little leisure time and are under a lot of pressure to work hard in their studies.
    What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

    Increasing competition for university entry and on the job market has caused ambitious parents and teachers in many countries to put more study pressure on students from a very young age. While educators might have the best intentions this can have serious consequences for the health and development of children. I will discuss some potential consequences and solutions to improve this situation.

    Long school hours, time consuming assignments and intense competition among students can cause multiple problems for children and even hurt their personal development and learning success. Students are at a stage of their life where they need some leisure to develop personal and social skills as well as find their interest and talents in life. Students experiencing severe stress and pressure instead of being given room to develop are more likely to have stress related health and mental problems like trouble to focus, anxiety, depressions and in extreme cases have lead to student‘s suicides.
    Furthermore, in a society where life long learning will be a key to job success, spoiling children’s curiosity and appetite for learning in general by pressuring them too much may hinder them from developing creativity and motivation to learn.
    It might be inevitable for schools o prepare students for competitive environments, but there are better solutions than simply putting more study pressure on them.
    Instead of overstraining children, education systems ideally should give them positive role models by teaching them how to deal with stress and lead a balanced life. Schools can for example emphasis cooperative problem solving over complementation, teach children time management techniques and how to learn efficient. Additionally, if needed students can be offered help for individual weaknesses or learning problems.

    In conclusion, I think students would benefit more from being taught how to deal with stress, high workload and competition in the future instead of just being exposed to a high level of study pressure early on.
    As even many professionals struggle to balance their work and personal life preparing students for a competive future remains a challenging task for educators.

  5. #5
    katisss is offline Newbie
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    Re: IELTS GT writing

    More general question about the paragraph order in a Pro contra essay:
    The opinion you agree with is first or second paragraph?
    Andd inside the paragrah start with more important and that go to less important subpoints?

    Topic
    In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.


    Some people recommend students to travel the world for a year before starting university. Others argue a “gap year” is a waste of time and money. I will look at some of the advantages and disadvantages of spending a gap year traveling after school.

    Many people think that a gap year can help a young person to gain some life and work experience prior to starting university, as well as develop as a person. For a young person traveling provides an opportunity to broaden their horizon and learn about different countries and cultures. Spending some time in a country while working also makes for a less superficial encounter than only being there as a tourist. Besides, travelers can gain work experience and potentially improve their foreign language skills. This experience can be an important advantage in a more international oriented economy.
    Additionally, a “gap year” can aid a person in becoming more independent and grown up, as it will require some organization skills and the ability to manage their finance. It can also be argued that right after school is a good time in life to see the world as most young people don’t have any family and professional obligations yet.

    However, there are valid concerns whether the time and money for a gap year are well spend. Probably the most serious problem about a gap year is it’s impact on future academic performance: young people taking a gap year may fall behind their peers or lose the motivation to study altogether. Moreover, school leavers are generally likely to end up with unskilled jobs abroad that barely cover their expenses; especially if they don‘t have advanced knowledge of the foreign language used in a country. Therefore, the work experience gained may not be very relevant to a person's career later and the work might not offer a lot of opportunity to practice a foreign language. From a more practical point of view it is also worth considering that not everyone feels comfortable living in a camper van, tent or hostel for months.

    In conclusion, i think time is a valuable resource at any age. There are a number of good alternatives to taking a gap year immediately after school: studying abroad, interning or working in a foreign country once you have completed studies. These alternatives later in a person’s career might be a more focused approach that offers better work opportunies, and ultimately, may proof a better experience than a gap year.

  6. #6
    katisss is offline Newbie
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    Re: IELTS GT writing

    ilels letter task 1. You always capitaliye I?

    Topic
    You have just bought a new mobile phone from a website on the internet. When it was delivered, the phone was faulty. Write a letter to the website. In the letter:
    introduce yourself
    explain the situation
    state what action you want to be taken

    My order no. 12345

    Dear Madam or Sir,
    I am writing regarding the mobile phone I bought from your shop in January. Unfortunately I am experiencing some problems with my new Samsung xyz phone. When I first started using the phone the battery life was only 5-6 hours, but after using it for a few weeks, the problem has worsened now. Even when the batteries are fully charged they last only for 3 hours, which is very inconvenient for my work as a real estate agent. It is very important in my industry to be reachable by phone any time and I already had to go back to using my old mobile again. Furthermore, a friend happens to own the same model and his phone does not show the problem described. The manufacturer claims it .
    I have come to the conclusion that there is probably some defect in my device or the researchable battery. Could you please let me know a postal address where I can send the mobile for repair or exchange?
    Best Regards,
    Katrin Schmid
    Last edited by katisss; 15-Feb-2012 at 04:42.

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