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  1. #1
    Moldova is offline Newbie
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    Smile URGENT PRIORITY, chek on grammar it please !!

    First of all I would like to present some background knowledge about myself. My name is Igor and I am currently living in Moldova. In the 2006 I entered the Technical University of Moldova, at the faculty of Food Industry Technology and Management, Specialty Technology of Wine and Fermented Products.
    I chose fulfilling my studies in this domain, because since childhood I have spent a lot of time at my uncle and grandparents, who live in the village and active in domain of agriculture, dealing vineyardsí cultivation and production of wine. The love with my relatives work every day has raised in me the interest and desire to improve the knowledge which I have achieved in this domain. In 2011 I graduated Technical University of Moldova and received the Specialistís Diploma with qualification Ė winemaker.
    During my study in university I also had to participate in seminars and training on regional, national and international level in Viticulture and Enology field as a trainee. By putting me in situations where I had to work with people from different nations and cultures I received the chance to improve my personal and work skills and broaden my horizons.
    After accomplishing my university studies I was looking for the international job opportunities and for the moment I work like cellar hand or wine maker assistant worldwide. During last two years I was abroad most of the time finishing one harvest in USA and starting the next one in New Zealand, usually working six or seven days a week under tough pressure, which is so common to wine industry during the harvest. But, this intensive period wasnít in vain. Iíve gathered knowledge of vineyard management, methodology of making white and red wines, laboratory research of vine berries and wine. I had the opportunity to work with the people from different cultures and Iíve learned to be as competent as possible and to complete my tasks in the work on time.
    I have a great desire to study abroad. When I discovered this amazing master program it became clear that this is exactly what I needed. I sincerely find in that great opportunity of an exchange experience with a solid support and the best way to continue my studies in what is for me a passion and goal: to become winemaker.
    The reason why I choose this specific master program comes from its great potential. I am very grateful to the university, which I completed for the acquisition of knowledge, but I understand that this is "old school" and that's not enough for me. After working abroad became clear to me that winemaking technology is developing very quickly, and only through such a progressive program as Vinifera EroMaster I will allow necessary knowledge.
    The second not less important reason is the people with whom I am going to study. International team creates a particular learning atmosphere between people of different cultures, so everyone can have benefits from each otherís. I know this from my own experience in USA where on one winery we was twenty interns from nine different countries, it was really amazing and productive experience.
    During study you always want to finish as quickly as possible with the theory and to switch to practice. But after you start work, you begin to understand how important a good base of theoretical knowledge is. Now I'm sure that if I will have the opportunity to become a member of a Vinifera EroMaster team I will pay maximum attention because I now know the value of knowledge for my future.
    I am informed of the seriousness of the heavy loaded curriculum, but Iím prepared to comply with this study curriculum which I found extremely interesting. I am ready to show myself as a hardworking , open-minded, creative and optimistic person. To add on, I learnt the teamwork values and I really enjoy to work in international team because such specific environment help you to change your mind, expanding horizons.
    I believe that background and experience also sincere interest for Vinifera EroMaster make me a worthy candidate for this master program.

    Thank you very much for considering my application. I look forward to your positive response.

  2. #2
    emsr2d2's Avatar
    emsr2d2 is offline Moderator
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    Re: URGENT PRIORITY, chek on grammar it please !!

    This piece is a bit too long for us to deal with in this section, where we generally deal with individual, specific questions.

    You will probably get more feedback if you post it in the "Editing and Writing Topics" secion, instead of "Ask a Teacher".

    My second piece of advice would be to correct your title when you repost. It should read:

    "Please check my grammar"

    We normally politely ask that you not put things like "URGENT PRIORITY". Everyone here is a volunteer, helping in their free time and we do what we can, when we can.

    Edit: I see that you have moved it (or it has been moved for you) to the correct section.
    Last edited by emsr2d2; 31-Jan-2012 at 21:51. Reason: Post moved while I was typing a response I think.

  3. #3
    5jj's Avatar
    5jj is offline VIP Member
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    Thumbs up Re: URGENT PRIORITY, chek on grammar it please !!

    Quote Originally Posted by emsr2d2 View Post
    This piece is a bit too long for us to deal with in this section, where we generally deal with individual, specific questions.
    You will probably get more feedback if you post it in the "Editing and Writing Topics" secion, instead of "Ask a Teacher".

    I have just moved it there.

    We normally politely ask that you not put things like "URGENT PRIORITY". Everyone here is a volunteer, helping in their free time and we do what we can, when we can.
    5

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