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  1. #1
    howdyhow is offline Newbie
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    Default Please help me revise this 250 word essay

    Hi, please help me edit this essay because I have to submit it tomorrow and I think it sucks. The last paragraph/sentence doesn't even relate to the topic and I need to make it interesting. Please help!



    2. Select a four letter word in the English language which should be preserved and explain why. (No contractions)

    It is eternal, with no beginning or end. It is the creation of everything and will exist after the end of everything. Without it, nothing exists. It is what humans perceive as “time”. This four letter word, time, should survive through itself(time) as it is perhaps the most significant word of existence.

    Time will forever be the creator of everything. Every movement of creation is linked and fixed to a timeframe. Take yourself as an example. You were put to this world through a time process of around nine months. Without time, you would not be here reading my application form, unless magic exists. Since all derivation of actual existence eternally depends on time, the word must be preserved.

    Time is also valuable. It waits for no one. The preservation of time could prevent a missed train, a lost race, a death of a loved one…the examples are endless, just like time. A moment not efficiently spent is an eternal loss. This is why humans must preserve time and use it wisely to accomplish goals and to be successful.

    Finally, the word, “time” cannot be replaced because time is applied in almost everything, including science, philosophy, and religion. The word is so frequently used and has existed over centuries. Changing this universal word would be changing almost everything, which is such a waste of time.

    Time is conquering, precious, and universal, which is why the word must be preserved. After all, no one truly knows the meaning of time.

  2. #2
    tedtmc is offline Key Member
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    Default Re: Please help me revise this 250 word essay

    Select a four letter word in the English language which should be preserved and explain why. (No contractions)

    It is eternal, with no beginning or end. It is the creation of everything and will exist after the end of everything. Without it, nothing exists. It is what humans perceive as “time”. This four letter word, time, should survive through by itself (time) as it is perhaps the most significant word of in existence.

    Time will forever be the creator of everything. Every movement of creation is linked and fixed to a timeframe. Take yourself as an example. You were put(brought) to this world through a time process of around nine months. Without time, you would not be here reading my application form, unless magic exists. Since all derivation of actual existence eternally depends on time, the word must be preserved.

    Time is also valuable. It waits for no one. The preservation (observation?)of time could prevent a missed train, a lost race, a death of a loved one…the examples are endless, just like time. A moment not efficiently spent is an eternal loss. This is why humans must preserve(value) time and use it wisely to accomplish goals and to be successful. (Time is not a physical thing that you can preserve)

    Finally, the word, “time” cannot be replaced because time is applied in (affects?) almost everything, including science, philosophy, and religion. The word is so frequently used and has existed over centuries. Changing this universal word would be changing almost everything, which is such a waste of time.

    Time is conquering (all-encompassing, pervasive), precious, and universal, which is why the word must be preserved. After all, no one truly knows the meaning of time.(Yes, this sentence seems out-of-place)

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