I have written an IELTS article, but I could sure every words or grammar are used accurately. Could someone help me to correct it? I am glad to see any suggestion. Thank you in advance!

Topic:
Some people think, children should obey the rules their parents and teacher set, but others think less control will help children to deal with their future adult life. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Essay:
The debate on whether children should obey the requirement by elder has been going on for a long time. Someone think children could not distinguish the right and wrong, so they should totally follow parent’s and teachers’ words. Others think the less control will stimulate children to become independence and it is good for their adult life.

As some people’s claim children have no idea in what they are doing, they just do things they expect. You always see them break the crockery fall from table by pull the table clothes, and draw ‘masterpiece’ on the important file which their fathers need to submit tomorrow. The little rogues laugh loudly while their parents were in despair. After all the confusion made by children, people think children should listen to parents and teachers, so that they could learn to care other’s feeling and be nice in daily life.

But in fact, no one in the world lives without make any mistakes. The growth history of every people seems to be a mistakes collection list. Even we are old we still do something stupid and this is human. When the errors occur we could learn a lot of things from it. So children had better live under less control, it will help them to think by themselves. When children do something wrong, and in feel confusing parents will give them a direction.

In my opinion, children should be given enough freedom, necessary suggestion is important but no one willing to totally obey other ones’ requirements. Furthermore parent and teacher could not flank children all the time, why not looking children grow by themselves.