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  1. #1
    Ashiuhto is offline Senior Member
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    Default get closer to people

    Please check the following paragraph.

    I am a little shy and silly, but I sincerely hope to help people and get closer to people. I'm working as a sales assistant currently. I have a busy job during the day. When I get home from work, I like to read books, listen to music to ease my pressure.

  2. #2
    JMurray is offline Key Member
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    Default Re: get closer to people

    I am a little shy and silly, but I sincerely hope to help people and get closer to people. I'm working as a sales assistant currently. I have a busy job during the day. When I get home from work, I like to read books, listen to music to ease my pressure.

    Here are a couple of possible alternatives that might be useful to you.

    "I am a little shy and silly, but I sincerely hope I can get closer to people and help them. I'm currently working as a sales assistant and have a busy job during the day. When I get home from work I like to read books and listen to music to relax".

    "I am a little shy and silly, but I sincerely hope I can help people by getting closer to them. I'm currently working as a sales assistant and have a busy job during the day. When I get home from work I like to take it easy by reading books and listening to music".

    Are you confident in the use of "silly", because it usually suggests a certain foolishness or lack of common sense. I wonder what you are trying to say about yourself here.

    not a teacher

  3. #3
    Ashiuhto is offline Senior Member
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    Default Re: get closer to people

    I revise the sentences as written. In #2, is it necessary to put a comma after the word "work"?



    1. I am a little shy and careless,

    2. When I get home from work, I like to read books and listen to music to relax.
    Last edited by Ashiuhto; 04-Feb-2012 at 06:44. Reason: typo

  4. #4
    JMurray is offline Key Member
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    Default Re: get closer to people

    1. I am a little shy and careless,
    This doesn't seem right either, "careless" is quite a strong criticism and can mean things like "irresponsible" or "insensitive". Do you mean "carefree"?… although that might be unusual for a shy person. Perhaps you are a "daydreamer" and a little "absentminded".

    2. When I get home from work I like to read books and listen to music to relax.
    No comma needed after "work".

    not a teacher

    (I know I shouldn't post late on a Saturday night)
    Last edited by JMurray; 04-Feb-2012 at 11:16. Reason: word corrected

  5. #5
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    5jj is offline VIP Member
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    Default Re: get closer to people

    Quote Originally Posted by Ashiuhto View Post
    ... is it necessary to put a comma after the word "work"?

    2. When I get home from work, I like to read books and listen to music to relax.
    The comma makes it easier to read, in my opinion.

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