HELP University application

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Lara1088

New member
Joined
Feb 6, 2012
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
German
Home Country
Germany
Current Location
Germany
Hallo everyone,

I am desperately hoping that you can help me improve my answer to the following question:

What do you consider to be your best strongpoint or asset. And where were you able to demonstrate this strength or asset.

I've been rewriting it numerous times but it just still doesn't sound as great as I would like it to and I don't know how to make it sound more 'professional'.

Here is what I wrote so far:

I believe that my interpersonal communication skills is my strongest asset. My numerous stays abroad have helped me develop a high sensitivity and empathy for persons with diverse characters and cultural backgrounds. Being able to communicate with different persons allows me to improve the efficiency of work tasks, and strongly helps me contribute to a culture of open communication. I am firmly convinced that communication is one of the most important success factors in today’s global world. I have made the experience that without great social communication skills it is difficult to bring diverse cultures together. However, it is not only about oral communication skills, equally important is my ability to put myself into someone else’s position which has allowed me to successfully manage group assignments and support others in contributing to the group’s success.

A situation that comes to mind where I was able to make use of this asset was during my exchange semester in Hong Kong. Group projects are a key tool in Chinese university courses. Due to the diverse student body group projects always united students with different nationalities. One project has especially remained in my memory. The final project of one of my courses required us to analyse the marketing activities of a well-known company and develop future marketing activities to improve this company’s image. The importance of this project was very high and the time limited. I was voted team leader and therefore primarily responsible for the success of the project. Working with persons that not only differ in character, cultural upbringing, work attitude and linguistic background was a large challenge. However, I was successfully able to manage this task. Not only was I able to integrate every member into the group, but through open communication and motivation I was able to solve occurring problems very fast, therewith increase our work efficiency and enhance the team spirit. Our final presentation could not have gone better and the feedback reflected my own impression of a very well organized team that seemed to have found a positive and healthy communication base. In my eyes being able to strengthen the ties between a diverse group of people is a success factor for leaders today, and even more so in the future.



Please, Please help me!!
Thank you!!

Lara
 

billmcd

Key Member
Joined
Mar 27, 2009
Member Type
English Teacher
Native Language
English
Home Country
United States
Current Location
United States
Hallo everyone,

I am desperately hoping that you can help me improve my answer to the following question:

What do you consider to be your best strongpoint or asset. And where were you able to demonstrate this strength or asset.

I've been rewriting it numerous times but it just still doesn't sound as great as I would like it to and I don't know how to make it sound more 'professional'.

Here is what I wrote so far:

I believe that my interpersonal communication skills [STRIKE]is[/STRIKE] are my strongest asset. My numerous [STRIKE]stays[/STRIKE] visits abroad have helped me develop a [STRIKE]high[/STRIKE] strong sensitivity and empathy for persons with diverse character[STRIKE]s[/STRIKE] and cultural background[STRIKE]s[/STRIKE]. Being able to communicate with different [STRIKE]persons[/STRIKE] personalities allows me to improve the efficiency of my work tasks, and [STRIKE]strongly [/STRIKE]helps me contribute to a culture of open communication.(Great statement!) I am firmly convinced that communication is one of the most important success factors in today’s global world. It [STRIKE]have made the [/STRIKE] has been my experience that without great social communication skills, it is difficult to bring diverse cultures together. However, it is not only about oral communication skills. Equally important is my ability to put myself into someone else’s position which has allowed me to successfully manage group assignments and to support others in contributing to the group’s success.

A situation that comes to mind where I was able to make use of this asset was during my exchange semester in Hong Kong. Group projects are a key tool in Chinese university courses. Due to the diverse student body, group projects always united students with different nationalities. One project has especially remained in my memory. The final project of one of my courses required us to analyse the marketing activities of a well-known company and develop future marketing activities to improve this company’s image. The importance of this project was very high and the time limited. I was voted team leader and therefore primarily responsible for the success of the project. Working with persons that not only differ in character, cultural upbringing, work attitude and linguistic background was a large challenge. However, I was successfully able to manage this task. Not only was I able to integrate every member into the group, but through open communication and motivation, I was able to solve occurring problems [STRIKE]very fast[/STRIKE]quickly, therewith increase our work efficiency and enhance [STRIKE]the[/STRIKE] team spirit. Our final presentation could not have gone better and the feedback reflected my own impression of a very well organized team that seemed to have found a positive and healthy communication base. In my eyes, being able to strengthen the ties [STRIKE]between[/STRIKE] among a diverse group of people is a success factor for leaders today, and even more so in the future.


Please, Please help me!!
Thank you!!

Lara

Outstanding !!! :up: A few suggestions. Good luck.
 
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