[Essay] Television has destroyed communication among friends and family.

Status
Not open for further replies.

vinothganesh

New member
Joined
Jan 26, 2012
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
Tamil
Home Country
India
Current Location
India
Dear sir ,
Please correct my essay. It would be helpful if i know my mistakes from others.

Television has destroyed communication among friends and family. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion?

Television, one of the greatest inventions of the present scientific achievement. By the advent of television, events happened in the one part of the globe reach another part of the globe within a few seconds. By the end of 2000, television has become a primary source of mass communication and people across the counties not only depended on their television for the news but also for entertainment.

Since 1990s, many multinational companies invested a lot in the creating television programs that glue the audience from watching. During the holidays, people used to go their friends or relative house for vacation. Nowadays, people like to stay in their home and watch their favorite program with their family. Consequently, it reduces the chance of meeting our friends and it has destroyed the communication among our friends or relative.

Earlier we used to go together for the football matches with our friends and relative. There we used to have a nice time with them and get new friends by meeting each other. Nowadays, people used to have a Television with High definition program streaming at their home, good quality streaming with laziness made people to stay in their home. Due to that, people had lost their opportunity to spend time with their friends.

Hence, we would say television has destroyed communication among friends and family.
 
Last edited:

februar

Member
Joined
Sep 10, 2011
Member Type
Interested in Language
Native Language
German
Home Country
Switzerland
Current Location
Switzerland
Dear sir,
Please correct my essay. It would be helpful if I know my mistakes from others.

Television has destroyed communication among friends and family. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion?

Television is one of the greatest inventions of the present scientific achievements. By the advent of television, the latest news of events that happen[STRIKE]ed[/STRIKE] (general statement: Simple Present – or: events happening in...) in the one part of the globe reach another part of the globe within a few seconds. By the end of 2000, television has become a primary source of mass communication and people across the counties (countries, globe?) not only depend[STRIKE]ed[/STRIKE] on their television for the news but also for entertainment.

Since 1990[STRIKE]s[/STRIKE], many multinational companies invested a lot in [STRIKE]the[/STRIKE] creating television programs that glue the audience [STRIKE]from watching[/STRIKE] to the television watching them. During the holidays, people used to go to their friends’ or relatives’ house for vacation. Nowadays, people like to stay in their home and watch their favorite program with their family. Consequently, it reduces the chance of meeting our friends and it has destroyed the communication among our friends or relatives.

[STRIKE]Earlier[/STRIKE] (“Used to go” means “earlier we usually went”) We used to enjoy going [STRIKE]together[/STRIKE] [STRIKE]for the[/STRIKE] to football matches together with our friends and relatives. There we [STRIKE]used to[/STRIKE] (It isn’t necessary to repeat “used to”) had a nice time with them and got new friends by meeting each other. Nowadays, people used to having (familiar with) a television with High Definition Streaming Program [STRIKE]streaming[/STRIKE] at their home; good quality streaming with laziness make people [STRIKE]to[/STRIKE] stay in their home. Due to that, people [STRIKE]had lost[/STRIKE] lose their opportunity to spend time with their friends.

Hence, we would say television has destroyed communication among friends and family.

februar, no teacher
 

vinothganesh

New member
Joined
Jan 26, 2012
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
Tamil
Home Country
India
Current Location
India
Thanks februar for your insightful comments and corrections.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top