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Thread: help me

  1. #1
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    help me

    I had to write an essay but i havent wrote an essay in so long i completely 4got how to write an essay or what makes it a GOOD essay. So can you please read over this and tell me what i need to do to fix it because i know its awful.

    The essay was supposed to be about the advantages and disadvantages of owning a pet.

    I had to write an essay but i havent wrote an essay in so long i completely 4got how to write an essay or what makes it a GOOD essay. So can you please read over this and tell me what i need to do to fix it because i know its awful.

    The essay was supposed to be about the advantages and disadvantages of owning a pet.

    In my opinion, I think that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages because pets provide you with so much. Even though they do become an inconvience at times, they are well worth the effort.

    First of all, one advantage is that you can play with your pets. if you like to work out, you can take them running with you. Pets can keep you active wheich can turn out to be beneficial for your health and your body. It also gives you something to do, pets need attention as well as many needs that you have to keep up with.

    Second of all, anouther advantage to owning your own pet is that animals give you some company. Like, I was at home alone all the time when i was younger, and my dog kept my company so that i wasnt completely alone. If you are like me and dont like being alone, or if you just want someone around so you dont go crazy you should try getting a pet. Animals can be very comforting when your alone.

    Last but not least, pets give you and your home security. In alot of cases, dogs have saved numbers of lives. Dogs and sometimes cats will give you a warning when an intruder is around your property. It has been known that some animals will even attack if they feel a stranger is going to harm its owners. That can put you in a bad situation if the person ment no harm so its best to keep your dog trained to just warn a stranger and only attack when attacked. But the security helps to keep your home a safer place, some intruders might just see your animal and leave thinking they will get attacked.

    In conclusion, I think that pets can be very helpful. Animals are very usefull around a house, especially, when you are at home alone alot. I personaly would say the advantages outwiegh the disadvantages, so maybe you should try getting a pet of your own.
    Last edited by Katie87; 12-Nov-2005 at 05:07.

  2. #2
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    Re: help me

    Quote Originally Posted by Katie87 View Post
    I had to write an essay but i havent wrote an essay in so long i completely 4got how to write an essay or what makes it a GOOD essay. So can you please read over this and tell me what i need to do to fix it because i know its awful.
    Say:
    I had to write an essay, but I hadn't written an essay in so long that I completely forgot how to write an essay or what makes for a good essay. Please read this over and tell me what I need to do tofix it, because I know it's awful.
    Quote Originally Posted by Katie87 View Post
    The essay was supposed to be about the advantages and disadvantages of owning a pet.
    OK.

    Quote Originally Posted by Katie87 View Post
    In my opinion, I think that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages because pets provide you with so much. Even though they do become an inconvience at times, they are well worth the effort.
    You don't need to use In my opinion or I think, and you certainly don't need to use them both.

    Quote Originally Posted by Katie87 View Post
    First of all, one advantage is that you can play with your pets. if you like to work out, you can take them running with you. Pets can keep you active wheich can turn out to be beneficial for your health and your body. It also gives you something to do, pets need attention as well as many needs that you have to keep up with.
    Use First instead of First of all. Say: "beneficial for your health" and delete "and your body".

    Quote Originally Posted by Katie87 View Post
    Second of all, anouther advantage to owning your own pet is that animals give you some company. Like, I was at home alone all the time when i was younger, and my dog kept my company so that i wasnt completely alone. If you are like me and dont like being alone, or if you just want someone around so you dont go crazy you should try getting a pet. Animals can be very comforting when your alone.
    Say: "when you're" alone"

    How would you change the rest?


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